A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had a relationship with a man that was 47 years old and we dated for almost a year. We had some problems, but not bad enough to where we couldn't sit down and talk about them. He started tripping with me and left me without even really telling me that it was over. I didn't do no more or say wrong things no more than he did. We did have a lack of communication as far as dicussing what the problem was when we had them. He never straight out came to me and told me that the relationship was over. I felt like a man being 47 years old would not be afraid to talk if he wanted out of the relationship. It hurt me real bad because I thought I was more to him than that. He didn't cheat on me and I didn't cheat on him. I didn't treat him that bad to where he couldn't talk to me about what I did wrong. It's been 5 months now and I miss him a lot. I tried to talk to him to ask if he would have a friendly lunch with me and he keeps putting it off or he will say that he's busy. He calls me sometimes and I use to call him to say good morning, have a nice day. He will answer the phone on the first ring, and by the way he does have caller ID so he knows that it is me. Recently I have stopped calling him because I feel that I'm doing all the calling and I refuse to keep calling him and he's not saying what I want to hear. When I see him he always has to hug on me or tell me that I look nice. He can be on the other side of the room and he will find a way to stare at me. It's like he wants to say something, but he don't know what to say. I've tried to go to him on ever angle to talk to him about us talking. He studers when he talk and he even told me that he still had feelings for me, but he don't call me. I don't understand him. All I want to do is have a friendly conversation with him. I would understand him more by not talking to me if I cheating on him or just flat out mistreated him. I thought when something is over, the man will go about his business because it nothing left. I will glance at him or one of my friends will tell me that he is staring at me. This is what he wanted because he wasn't even a man to tell me what I did or trully tell me that he wanted out of the relationship. I feel like if it's over then he doesn't have a reason to continue to stare at me. Why don't he just go on about his business and put his mind on something else? Why does he continue look at me when he made the decision to walk away? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (20 June 2008):
 This man has mixed feelings and until he is clear about his feelings he will lean towards not leading you on. That means he will not call you and will not initiate anything. However when he sees you his feelings surface and he I am sure does care about you. He doesn't want to have the talk because he just isn't sure what his feelings are and perhaps he is afraid of saying something that will end it for good or that he will say something to lead you on.
Something is holding him back; fear of committment; in love with an ex or who knows. There is nothing more you could do. This situation is totally about him and not about you. Best to give him his space and let him work his demons out by himself. He may or may not ever be back so it is best to forget him and move forward yourself since it seems he can not do so. Someone has to make a choice and since you are the one who seems to want an answer, you'll have to make your own answer.
Good luck. Most of us have been here and it takes time but we all get through it.
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