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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear ReadersJust lately i have spent alot of time inside the house. i havent been out with friends much and dread going out into the public.Every time friends ask me out i say im busy because i just cant face going out. I feel scared and i get nervous but it all started because i didnt have the right outfit or i didnt feel confident in what i was wearing and i feel that has caused me to stay indoors alot. Please help me, what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pink_day +, writes (14 August 2006):
 I am crying reading this because this is like my mum writing to me.
My advice is to please be strong, confide in a really good friend or family member and see a Doctor. My mum has been agraphobic for years and she is now used to spending almost all day every day indoors. She depends on me and my father going shopping for her and hasn't been out without her own mother by her side for over 12 years.
I became slightly agraphobic for a period a few years ago and my own mum pushed me in to going out - at the time I was angry, why was she pushing me to go out when she didn't try? But I am so grateful for her help and support now as I have no worries about it now.
What you have to remember is that this is an illness, this isn't just you, you are not the only one going through this and people can help you. Please try, just push yourself that little bit harder and see someone about it.
Please let me know how you are getting on, I am really interested in how you deal with this.
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Sweetie, are you based in the UK because there is a wonderful organisation called the National Phobics Society visit www.phobics-society.org.uk
Even if you are not UK based, there is an Email support option where you can get in touch with a trained volunteer who should be able to help you. Take care. xXx
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A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 You've got to push past the fear. People are going to judge you no matter how "primped and perfect" you may be. It's the way the world works sadly. But if you continue to do this, eventually your friends are going to stop asking you to go with them, and you're going to drift apart. You don't want to be friendless, right?
Try just putting on clothes, and looking in the mirror. Tell yourself over and over that you look just fine, until you begin to believe it. Talk to your friends, and tell them what you'll think you wanna wear, listen to their reactions. If they don't appear enthused, ask them what you should wear. So if anything else fails, your friends should help you feel confident in your clothing selection. You're going out with them, so don't mind what anyone else thinks. If you're trying to catch the eye of a guy, just know that you're never going to catch it if you don't even begin to try!
So go out with your friends, it's better than facing the world alone. Phobias are fears that, if faced enough, can be gotten over in most cases. Doctor's put a label and a medication with everything. I'm arachnophobic, but I'm MAKING myself get over my terrible fear of spiders. I used to have nightmares, but now I tell myself to calm down, it's ONLY a tiny little spider!! And you know what? It works!
So you CAN get over this, it just takes a strong desire to get over it, and a sum of your willpower. Make a promise with yourself. For everytime you go out with your friends, treat yourself to something you enjoy. That way, it'll make it easier to get the mindset that there's no reason to be afraid, because you'll subconsciously be thinking more about your treat.
Good luck!
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