A
female
age
26-29,
*uperboredtoday
writes:Is me and my boyfriend's relationship destined to fail or can we make it work?I'm an 18 year old girl dating a 39 year old man. We have been dating for 3 months now and it has been amazing he is the best relationship I've had so far.He really knows how to treat me and make me feel special. There are some rough patches mostly the fact that he's ready to settle down and have a family and I just finished my freshman year of college and I want to finish school before I even think about that. It hasn't it been that much of a problem yet but moving on down the road I know will be because he is so eager to get married and have kids because he hasn't done that yet. Another rough patch that we have is that he doesn't trust me. During the first month everything was fine we spent almost every day together but slowly we started cutting the time we spent and I didn't really think anything about it until he pointed it out and he blames me for it. I'm a tomboy so I have a lot of guy friends I just connect with guys more than girls so when I tell him I'm hanging out with my friends he gets jealous and I don't know why but when he gets jealous about my friends it makes me start thinking that maybe he's seeing someone else, and that he's trying to the attention from him and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong. But usually when you feel this way we just talk it out we both have the password to each other's phones so we kind of know that we're being a little childish and that wouldn't not keeping any secrets from each other but that doesn't keep him from assuming that I'm cheating on him the next time I go out without him. Okay I'm in the last problem I can think about is that our personalities are a little different when I see him I just want to stay inside watch TV eat take out and and just hang out with him one-on-one alone but he always wants to go out dancing and movies and you know how all these date night but that's just not me. We usually come up with a compromise which is one day will go out and then the next will stay in but sometimes this becomes a problem because he feels that I'm trying to hide him and that I'm embarrassed about the age Gap but I'm really not actually like that. He's older he got his head together and way mature Unity guys my age but he never believes me when I say that. So I guess I can keep going on and on about our relationship I guess I should because I haven't really talked about any other good stuff that is in our relationship but they're just so many that it's just hard to to list.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (26 May 2016):
 It's totally up to you whether your relationship will work out or not. As with other relationships, it will be a challenge but if the two of you are willing to work through any problems that will arise then so be it. The age will bring up quite a few issues trust me and you are just now seeing them poke through their ugly heads . . . This is just the beginning. Personally I wouldn't advise any young adult to date someone that is that much older than they are mostly because; at various points in our lives we need to surround ourselves with people who are in a similar part of life. Just that alone eliminates so many issues already.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016): Like anything else in life it depends on two people. But age gas can be tricky. Especially this big. I've been with a guy who's 15 years my senior, so I know a thing or two about dating older guys. But, I was way more mature than average girls my age at the time. Still, now when I'm almost 40 I have a totally different perspective. Even if I were a man, I would never be interested in someone who's old enough to be my daughter.I hate to be the one to say this, but it may turn out that you don't have may things in common. I wouldn't be surprised if he's mostly drawn to you because of your youth. You are at different points in life. If he wants to settle down, you're way too young. If you on the other hand want to have a family down the road, he may be the one who feels that he's too old for it (or that he simply doesn't want to).I hope you realize that dating a 21 older guy means eventually if things work out being married to a 60 year old when you're 40.Trust me, in your forties you're still full of life...There are those karmic, once in a lifetime, impossible to deny and explain loves but they are extremely rare! Whatever you do, place the focus on yourself and your needs and priorities. Make sure that you know what you want in life career wise and where you want to be in 10 years. If he fits into the picture great. If not... have fun while it lasts but don't change yourself to accommodate him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 May 2016):
 The first few months can be the most romantic, but at the same time the most challenging also. Once you get past your fears and build trust, it can be a smooth ride.
One thing that catches my attention is that, you will go out with your friends, mostly male, but with your boyfriend you would rather stay home and just relax. That would not make him feel like a priority. I guess what he needs to hear is not that he's a good guy, he treats you special, etc. He wants to hear that he's sexier than the male friends you hang out with. He gets jealous because he knows that his sexual prime is over and he can't ever keep up with those young guys. He doesn't want to just be a security blanket for you, to invest his whole life for you, just to end up being heart broken because you treated the relationship as just a learning experience. Although I don't believe in prying into email and calls, he does has his reasons to be insecure.
You can make it work if you want it to work. There is sacrifice in an age gap relationship. I see that if it's going to fail, it's going to hurt him much more than it hurts you.
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