A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Online dating. After you meet for a date, you kiss, you want to see her again, how long should you leave it before contacting her? She seemed interested but I don't want to come on too strong. Also I went online today and she was on there at the same time. Does this mean she was checking out other profiles or was she looking at mine again? Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2013):
I would text that same night saying goodnight, hope you got home OK, and talk to you tomorrow. Then I would text the next day, IF I was interested.
The whole wait 3 days is bogus and only make people doubt what you feel and what you want.
I don't think she was looking for other profiles, maybe she was hoping you would message her through the date site?
Anyhow, DO NOT reads to much into what she is doing on the date site. You can only guess, and THAT will only drive you nuts.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): Show you are keen by a follow up text that night if it was a day date, or the next day if it was a night date. You need to show you are interested and reliable. I want to know a guy is keen on me, or I am not going to waste my time.
She probably went online to see if you were online, and to reply to any other messages. I suggest you don't play it cool, if you are keen, be charming and a gentleman. If you play it cool, she will think you are not that 'into her', and keep looking elsewhere. If she isn't that interested in you, she will let you know soon enough, but on the chance she is interested, don't loose her. Note: ONE text, not five. Show you are keen, but not desperate.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (16 November 2013):
Text her or better yet phone her today and ask if she'd like to meet up again. It's not coming across as too keen.
She could have been online for a variety of reasons, including to see what you were up to since she hadn't heard a peep since your date ....same as R1, a text on the same night is pretty normal.
In my days of online dating, I'd just assume the guy wasn't interested if I didn't get a text the same night, and the assumption was always correct.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 November 2013):
I think it's reasonable to follow up the next day. If I like a guy and had a good date with him, I'd hope to hear from him really soon.
Yes, she could have been checking out other profiles. Especially if she hasn't heard from you, she might think you're not interested and needs to keep her options open. And yes, she could have looked at yours again and noticed you were on and still not paying her any attention--that's not good.
If you like her and want to see her again, CALL HER!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): If you only went on one date, she still may be dating around, as is the point of these sites anyway. I wouldn't read too much into whether or not she's looking at your profile or someone else's because I really don't know what purpose asking would serve. She'll either lie and said, "Yours" to avoid hurting your feelings or lie and say "someone else's" to play hard-to-get. Or, she'll be honest and say, "Yours" (and you'll wonder if she was preserving your feelings) or she'll be honest and say "someone else's" and you'll wonder if you should bother. I would call her and say something like, "Hey, I had a great time last night (the other night) Stephanie! You want to do it again next week?"
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (16 November 2013):
I would expect a text when I got home saying the person enjoyed the date then a follow up 1-2 days later.
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