A
female
age
36-40,
*tar2010
writes:I met a guy 4yrs ago (I was 18 and he was 20) We started "talking" for a while (3months) getting to know each other. I let him kmow I was/am a virgin waiting for marriage. He said he respected me for that and he was fine with it. For the first month he acted like he liked me and wanted to pursue something but then when I started to care about him he began giving me the cold shoulder and distancing himself. He moved back to his homestate to finish up college and then we still talked on and off for 2 yrs. He would randomly call to ask if I was "with anyone" and get updated on my life. Sometimes he would promise to call back and never did....sometimes he would contact me everyday for a couple weeks and then I wouldn't hear anything from him in 3-6 months. He would tell me how much he missed me and that he wished he never had to leave. One time we made plans for him to visit and he cancelled on me the night b4. He claimed to "not have any money because he spent it on his mini vacation with his friends".....It's not like he lived far away because we only lived one state away from each other and he had a full-time job.Eventually I got sick of him sending me mixed signals and deleted him from all of my accounts. A week later he sent a message apologizing and saying that he "never meant to hurt me and he had really did like me but it was at the wrong time" ...Well, b4 I deleted him from my FB I logged on and it said that he was in a relationship. Once he was with the new chick, he never contacted me again. It was easy for me to delete him so I did and we didn't speak for 2yrs after that. (I had heard through a friend)...that he travels down south to visit his girlfriend all the time (never cancelled on her)... and he is planning to move down there with her and get married in the next couple yrs.After a little over two years of no contact now all of a sudden I log onto FB last night and I see a request from him. We are two different people now and no longer kids. I mean/meant nothing to him so I don't understand why he is requesting me.........I plan on ignoring his request.What would you do and why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Good for you! Make a break from this man, once and for all. I agree with you, do not 'friend' him on facebook. Stop all means of contact. Distract yourself, develop yourself...get out and start living your life. He moved on a number of times, in your past only to flit back in your life and that connection to him did drag you down. It has plainly diminished your self-worth and caused you hurt. Continue to be strong, be positive, live your life happily, but without him, You've had a taste of what he did to you before. So now the key is to keep that toxic stuff out of your life. Good luck and Take care.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Really I would decline his friend request, it's about time you put an end to him floating in and out of your life. He's doesn't need to be keeping tabs on you any longer. Plus, he's getting married and about to embark on a whole new chapter of his life. Let him stay in the past where he belongs.
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A
female
reader, LOSTasYOU +, writes (11 September 2010):
 I think you should just forget about the past. Theres nothing wrong in accepting his request. Maybe he just wants to say hi and see how your doing. I dont think you should start jumping into conclusions too fast. Accept his request, see what he wants and be done wit it. You dont have to be buddy's, you dont have to see eachother, you dont have to do anything you dont want to do. If he writes something out of line then delete him. Plain and simple. Like you said, you two are no longer kids. Maybe things would be different for the two of you.
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