A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My first boyfriend and I were together from 14-18 and it was a serious case of puppy love but honestly, he did improve my life immensely. We never consummated our relationship with sex though...he moved away and we only spoke a few times a year on birthdays and such. I got into two relationships after him and dated some...but I thought of him often. Anyway, last night we spoke and it was heavy flirting and he said several times that had we stayed together we'd have had a baby-else I'd be expecting our first. I always thought he'd be a great dad and I hate that I'm thinking like this cause I would be horrible for him. I just realized that I have different problems with self-worth and dealing with my past. I'm overthinking things I know but hearing him talk about these things made me realize that I do want a baby and husband eventually but how can I even begin to prepare? The only thing I have is decent job with benefits.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2015): Often young women like you don't really require therapy or counseling; but could use some support and mentoring through national women's organizations. Not only networking tied to business, I mean social groups that rebuild broken and deficient confidence. Help women with low self-esteem, or who have undergone severe trauma from abuse and dysfunctional family problems. You can join as many as you like, and quit when you don't like them. If your issues are deep, then therapy may be what you need. Especially when you've got motherhood on your mind. If I had to judge by your post, you're not ready for that.
Why do guys like to suggest having babies and not offer to be husbands first? So they can walk-away when things get too tough to deal with. They want to plant their seed, but not nurture their offspring to adulthood. They leave their mothers long before that. We're higher life-forms. Not like lower beasts who impregnate and leave the female to deal with feeding and protecting their young alone. I feel sorry for boys who never had a good father to show them love and guidance to manhood. Having a strong mother is good, but she's not a man. Fathers are just as important. Girls need a good father (preferably married to her mother) to show her what good male character is, how commitment should work, and to expect it from any man she offers her love to. I'm not ruling men out, my dear.
You should do your research and look into women's support groups and professional sponsorship organizations offered by national women's organizations. They build character, offer empowerment, and grow self-esteem among young women like yourself.
We can't always conclude that it's a mental disorder. Some young women just haven't received much encouragement and positive reinforcement. They turn to men for it, but sometimes what they need comes from other women who can understand more about them. Please consider it. Don't become a mother, before you can deal with your own emotional issues. Baby's need care, and as they grow; a fine example and role model to live and learn by.
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