A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a man nine months ago and he confessed to me after six months that he is married. I'm in counseling to help get away from him. My question is why in the world would he take personal items of mine, like my very large hair brush, home in his luggage - he travels for work - where his wife can find it? Am I being used for more than sex? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): You are in counseling to get away from him. Does that mean you are still involved? It's very possible that the obvious answer is he wants his wife to discover his infidelity and leave him. So I think he is using his circumstance with you as a launch pad to getting his divorce initiated. You have to be careful here, because this could start a series of painful events ending in a nasty, messy divorce with you smack dab in the middle of it. You need to tell him, that you are bowing out of this and when he's divorced, maybe he can give you a call. But...his character is in question as far as I am concerned. What you will end up with, is a man who doesn't have the courage to be honest and truthful with his feelings/thoughts about relationship problems.. Instead, he sabotages and hurts people, through passive aggressive behaviors. Why not just sit her down and tell her with honesty that 'it's done-over' and face the music. Not exactly a sensitive guy, I would say. When you start a relationship with anyone, we offer our spirit, soul and life to another, we end up quite vulnerable. His wife has been married to him, and like you, she is likely very hypersensitive to threats or potential loss of her relationship. I am sure his wife will be very heartbroken and pained to make this discovery in his luggage. And you have to ask yourself...how are you going to feel, someday when you open his luggage and find another woman's hairbrush? or lingerie? or perfume?
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