A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I had a longterm relationship that ended over a year ago that was full of lies and abuse. I thought it would be a really long time before I'd meet someone else, however I met someone about 6months later. We've been together for a while now and I like him alot. He knows what happened to me in my past and is very understanding. Now obviously I still have some issues and I find it very difficult to trust others but I am trying and my new boyfriend is more than willing to have everything go at my pace. Yesterday I finally felt ready and we had sex for the 1st time. He was so nice about it, asked me for sure if I was ready, that he wouldn't force me, if I wanted to stop at any time type thing. He was very gentle and kept asking me if I was ok, if it was hurting etc. I felt fine after and was glad I did it. I didn't regret it or anything.Today I woke up and just get this weird unrealistic fear of being left/dumped. I talked to him today and he was fine. We live about an hour apart so we see each other about 2x/week. He invited me out tomorrow for a movie and his place. Everything is fine, he acts completely normal. But I want to know why I have this weird feeling of being dumped after we've first had sex? I have no reason to feel that way, I don't regret it or anything. Just wondering if this is a normal feeling after you first starting having sex with a guy?On a last note, I did have sex previously with my ex so it wasn't my first time.So any tips or reasons as to why I feel so scared like I'm going to be instantly dumped? Or is this normal?
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female
reader, lexx21  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 I think that it is normal, considering your previous history and due to thefact that you justhad sex. Since you just had sex you have a stronger bond, which means you keep thinkin he doesn't like you. Witch is not true.
A
female
reader, EmoGir0 +, writes (17 January 2010):
 I have never had that feeling before because I am still a virgin, but here's some advice.
I think it's because your scared that you were used, and lied too. A lot of guys are serious about relationships, then others just use girls. He seems very calm about it, so you shouldn't be worried. If your really scared about him leaving you then talk to him about it.
Hope this helps. (:
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