A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We starting going out about two months ago.After te second date I found out,he lives with someone-girlfriend.I was broken.He told me,he likes me and he will get her out,cause he wants to be with me.But since than not much changed...he saiz,she is not there anymore,but her stuff is there! I don't want to push him into anything,but I can't live like that .. what should I do? Wait another month or so? Keep bothering him over and over again? I don't know .. Help me please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (25 May 2007):
 Hey
So .. this is actually My question .. but I was still anonymus at the time ...
Anyway .. thank's to all of you for answering...
I should probably give you more info ...
Well .. he does have some history with his ex .. they have been living together for about a year now ...
He saiz, she doesn't sleep there anymore..and that I can sleep over there whenever I feel like it .. he invites me all the time ... so I quess that's good ...
He does call when he feels like it .. but I understand,that guy's sometimes play this "game" - not call too often ... ok,I get it ...
Also .. just cause we get toghether..doesn't mean we have sex .. he respects when I say NO ... and he is ok with it.
He holds me in his arms the whole night when I sleep .. and kisses me on my forhead ... to me ... that is a sign of something ... no? At least I thought guys usually don't want to cuddle after sex... or hold you the whole night .. but he does.
I told him,that I can't play the second field.. that I need to know, if he rally means it .. cause I don't want to get into a realtionship with him,when he doesn't want to .. and if its just about sex - fine,just tell me! But he saiz .. its not about that .. I like you,I wana be with you .. but first I have to get my life together so we can start for real ...
So I quess ... just time will show me if he was telling me the truth ... I hope he was .. I really do ...
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 He is playing you good. If she is no longer there, and just her stuff, does he invite you over to hang out? I think you need to start seeing other people, and if and when he is serious about tying up the loose ends of his "dead relationship", he can contact you, and IF you are not seeing anyone serious, maybe he can be with you then.
-FBK
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Is this women? His "girlfriend" - an ex? a flatmate? friend? What exactly is their relationship with each other?
If she is his "girlfriend", in that they are having a relationship with each other then I would suggest you stay away from this man and leave them together.
If she and him have some kind of history, in that she is an ex, then whilst your partner was wrong for keeping it from you, perhaps it is tricky for her to go. In which case, perhaps you can get some kind of understanding about where your relationship stands and give things more time. Just because they live together it doesn't necessarily mean anything is going on between them.
But if there is no history between them then I don't know why you want her out?
Your question is really vague, but whatever the situation there is no point keep nagging and bothering him - what kind of a relationship is that? If there is history between them and he doesn't get her to leave then he is choosing her before you, in which case I think it seems perhaps you would be better off moving on?
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A
female
reader, tracey  +, writes (22 May 2007):
No you shouldnt put up with it, he will not leave her. He is enjoying the thrill of keeping you on the back buner and knowing you will be there for him when ever he calls you.
You as a woman deserve to be treated with respect and is not treating either of you with any.
Kick him to the curb, get out enjoy ur self and meet a man who is all man and not a little boy who thinks he is a player.
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 well yes if you do keep putting up with this then it will get harder and harder to put right.
like you said you have only been with him a couple of months so i would give it just a little bit longer because this girl will have to find somewhere else to live.
it may just be money? they could be sharing all the bills and maybe if she does go then maybe your boyfriend wont be able to cope with paying everything?
like i say,just give it a bit longer and then maybe drop a hint,say something like "so when is she moving her things out, or has she got somewhere else to live then"
i hope it all works out for you.xxxxxxxxx
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