A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:about 5 months ago I was dating a guy..who at the time I liked, but didn't really take seriously because I was obviously stuck on my ex boyfriend/first love. While I was dating this other guy I was also seeing my ex boyfriend on special occassions mostly holidays. I know deep down I was being selfish and that nothing serious was going to come from spending time with my ex. Finally, the guy I was dating just stopped talking to me from one day to another..with no explaination as to why. Over the past few month I've kept in contact with him through email just to see how he was doing. I had also found out he was living with his new girlfriend. Point of the matter is that after him and I stopped dating I finally realized he's the one I wanted a relationship with and NOT my ex boyfriend. I realized it was too late to change anything or even prove to him because he was already with someone new. I respected that and chose to just leave it alone.Recently just a few weeks ago he wrote me an email and asked me how I was doing etc. I found out he no longer had a girlfriend and he told me we should hangout sometime. I received a phone call about 2 weeks ago..that he wanted to catch up..we went to dinner and movie. While at dinner we spoke about a lot of things. He asked if I missed him and ofcourse I said yess. He agreed that he missed me too. He explained to me that he knew the whole time I was seeing my ex..which was the reason he stopped dating me. so I took up the guts to tell him the truth...I admitted to everything. He was actually impressed by it because he thought that I would still deny everything. I told him that I was sorry, its in the past now...I can't do anything about it. I really wish I would just have the will power to stop going back and fourth to my ex. He always pops back in my life when he sees me with someone new. I explained to him how much I cared for and that's why I took up the courage to explain everything...even after so many months. Do you think a relationship may workout between him and I this time around?I don't think he will trust me.
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Ok, you do have the will power to stop going back and forth to your ex, the truth is that you want to keep on doing it. What you're saying is really bull. He's not pointing a gun at you when he comes, right? he doesn't give a threat warning that he will kill you or your family, right?
So what's making you coming back to him? If you really think he loves you, you are soo wrong. If he really loved you, he would be with you right now and not just appear when you have someone in your life. The reason he does this is because he doesn't want you to be happy and he wants to give you false hope and you're falling for it. Be a strong woman! Stand on your feet and say no!
Now, if your boyfriend doesn't trust you for now, well you can't really blame him, but you really can't lose hope so soon. If he has come back for you, it means he wants to be with you even after you cheated on him. Now that you're with him, prove to him that you won't do anything wrong again and that you have learned from your mistakes. Prove it to him every day. Show him respect and love and make him feel special. Ask for forgiveness and be truthful to him.
Now if he doesn't end up forgiving you and trusting you for a time, then he is being wrong. If you really learned from your mistakes, he has to accept that you commited them and that you are very sorry for them. If he can't do it eventually, then probably he's not meant for you. Now just remember that you have to give him time and you can't expect for him to be dandy for everything you did.
Good luck and be patient.
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