A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do I do?Im involved with this girl over a long distance relationship. We've never been togther at the same place for more then a week at a time but its now a year and 3 months and I never thought things were better.But after a painful 6 week christmas apart with little contact (we normally see each other every 2 weeks for a weekend) and on our first weekend back she told me she didnt feel the same.No lies, this crushed me, and after a weekend of much dehydration frm both parts we finally had to part company.What do I do? We havn't called it quits yet, and it doesnt feel to me like she has totally changed. Its not me, she has assured me and as shes a rubbish lier I belive her.Whats a guy to do? Its not me, i have never loved anyone like i have her, and she has never loved anyone like she has meAnything anyone has - any thoughts or comments would be well received
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christmas, crush, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe hard thing is she has said she still wants to be with me, and ive never ever done anything she is uncomfortable with, we moved with each other
I did ask her what she wanted. but she said she didnt know what she thought
thanks for the reply
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (22 January 2007):
 I think the root of this problem is the distance. Long distance relationships can work but you both have to be on the same page and you both need to put the same amount of effort in. This girl does seem to care about you, but maybe you've come on a bit strong with her? I think the distance is taking it's toll and unless she feels the same about you i'm afraid it's not going to work. What I would do in this situation is to ask her straight if she wants to end things between you. Her answer may hurt like hell but in time will get easier, nothing is worse than being in limbo and confused because whats going round in your head is usally worse than reality!
I hope this helps the only thing you can do now is talk to her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the quick reply.As for the being a man part - it went out of the window straight off. Ive never cried so hard in my life to be honest.She does kno how much she means to me thoughI tried calling her this eve because we said we'd stay in touch. But before she told me, even when she felt the same, we talked for 30mins plus. but after 5 mins tonight we ran out of things to sayi kno she is worried about me and does care deeply - i remember the first time we met i gave her a bday card and it it explained how a felt and how sad i was we couldnt b togther. but we agreed to make it work because we both felt so strongly.I mentioned this card to her the other day (it was by accident, i didnt mean to) and she broke downi cant help but think something is still therethankyou notlamc for your advice.
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A
male
reader, notlamc  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't anything much you can do.
You cannot change somebodys mind about something and, more often than not, trying to will likely alienate her more from you.
Try sending subtle messages, explain how you feel, ignore being 'a man' but show her how much she means to you.
But, whatever you do, don't sit at home thinking about it - Get out there, meet people and also show her you can get along without her.
She might then realise what she has lost.
Good luck!
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