A
female
age
36-40,
*dover
writes:I have been with my husband for 5years now, we have 2 babies.. a while back , late at night, he asked what i was about to do... I said,"go sit on the couch"... well, the t.v. timer came on for lesbian sex. I figured I wasnt doin the job, so i go to sex stores, buy lingerie, take pictures of myself... and he STILL wants to look at internet porn. I have a post prego body at 22 and I feel its the fatness... please help,.
View related questions:
lesbian, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): Communication is the key here. Before jumping to conclusions you should talk to your guy. It's fairly normal for men to look at porn regardless of whether they are attracted to their partner or not. Men are programmed with instincts that make them seek visual variety. Men generally don't view porn as cheating. Most men who look at other women's bodies are not interested in cheating on their partner. They just want to feel a "rush" from visual stimulation. Often, guys look at porn as a way of reducing the frustration of a monogamous lifestyle while still being able to remain faithful to their partner. Alternatively this behavior may just be a way for him to relieve the stress of being a new dad. He may be feeling like the babies have taken his place and that you are no longer interested in him. The coolest thing you could do would be to talk about it, and suggest watching some adult movies with him. Don't get too hung up on your physical shape. I'm sure your guy isn't perfect either. Both of you should probably work out together. Don't feel jealous of the women in pictures. They are not a replacement for you. Don't let him enforce a double standard either. If you want to look at pictures of guys, he should tolerate that (but DO NOT compare each other to photos). Better yet, try to find something you can both enjoy together. If all this disturbs you because of a conservative upbringing, trust me you can get over that. The two of you possibly need to do some "pillow talk" and get to know each other on a new level. Be careful to avoid discussing past lovers or experiences (this could cause lasting jealousy or just ruin the mood for him). You can probably turn this situation around and use it to make your marriage stronger and to have a better sex life. If it turns out that he really does have something like a "porn addiction", then have him seek professional help. Remember, anything can become a compulsion or addiction, even something as seemingly innocent as reading advice columns and blogs.
|
