A
male
age
30-35,
*ultuz
writes:I have a really good relationship with my mother and sister so I was raised on the belief that women were wonderful creatures. My dad was a junkie and in 2007 it was his undoing.So in reality, I should respect women..HOWEVER..I have been with 3 women.. Let's start with the first one.Within the first week of our relationship she was hitting on other dudes but I'd just bite the sour apple every time and hope for her to stop.. I caught her sexting, telling other guys she was talking to online that we weren't together at all and all kinds of sorts.. She'd sometimes not come home from downtown and sleep at a friends place.. When I'd get completely fed up and break up with her, she'd fuck everything that moved.. Even my best friends (which of course are no longer my friends). One time she was actually in another relationship when we started together again and when we met that other dude downtown once, it was a very awkward moment...She'd lie about her number and I'd find out about dudes she had fucked from time to time..Even now years after our final break up her promiscuous acts are bothering me as I moved in to this new apartment where junkies are parting 24/7 I find her at one of their parties as the only girl.. She was fucking at least one guy there that night.. And then she dares call me for money and rides a week ago.. I told her never to call me again and I hope she doesn't.I can't even count all the times she has wronged me and it would be such a wall of text anyways that nobody could read it in one day.So let's continue to the second girlfriend.She lied about her number as well.. We only dated for 2 or 3 weeks since she was bat shit insane and impossible to talk to.. She didn't tip the scale too much so I'm not going to talk about her too much.The third girlfriend I met at a friends party and I have a thread about her here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-slept-with-my-friend-on-the-day.htmlBasically.. She lies about her number, fucks a dude the day before we start dating, fucks my friend on the day we meet and keeps it all a secret even when confronted.So now..I HATE WOMEN.. I think they are all liars and whores.. I know this is not the truth, but it seems that every woman that I meet is this way. I work a respectable job and I don't hang out with a bad crowd anymore. I have been talking to new girls but I dismiss them all as future girlfriends due to my prejudice. If a girl hits on me, I'll dismiss her as a whore.. If a girl picks up on me hitting on her and hits on me back, she's a whore.. It's an endless loop. I know I am wrong to think like this of women and I don't know how to change my mind.. I am a very influential person and this way of thinking is getting to my friends as well.. They have started looking at women the way I do.. Well who can blame them, they were there throughout all my relationships..I guess I am just venting some frustration here.. Any insight on the matter is appreciated.
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male
reader, Cultuz +, writes (22 November 2011):
Cultuz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just don't understand why every woman I am with lies to me and is unfaithful in one way or another. I never lied to any of my girlfriends, I treasure them and try everything to make them happy.
I'm good looking, honest and fair.
Funniest thing of all is they all break down when I tell them I'm fed up with their bullshit. They cry and moan about not wanting to live without me...Well then they could have been honest.
Now the last girl I was with is picking up my friends on taggalicious (a dating application on facebook). I yelled at her to leave my friends alone because I had VERY bad experience with that and then I promptly deleted her off facebook. Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Hi Cultuz,Just know that what happened is in the past. You are only human, and you made your mistakes. You need time to heal... Try everything to let this anger out of you. I am glad that you realize you were living a bad life, and now you are doing so well. Keep going this path, and never go back to the place you were. I hope you know that anger can be toxic to your body, mind, and soul. Playing back the bad memories over, and over in your head is only making yourself get trapped. You are the only one hurting yourself. Hopefully with time you will start seeing life in different perspective. When you feel you are done venting, try to stop calling people bad words. If you start thinking positive, I think you will feel better about yourself, other people, and life in general. Life is too short to live in anger, and bitterness. Just know, there are a lot of good people out there. People that live life hard. People that know how to respect others. I hope one day you can look back into the past, and say so what? Who cares? These peope are not worth my time, and energy. Be nice to your mom, and sister. Enjoy your family, and learn how to enjoy life. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Cultuz +, writes (21 November 2011):
Cultuz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMiamine.
I don't date ANY women anymore after the last one.. But if I had to date one, It'd be a nice girl, not a ''partyslut'' like the last time.
I don't think I'm doing anything wrong anymore.. I used to live a bad life but I'm not sure if that's to blame for my bad relationships.. I had been clean through all my relationships so drugs weren't affecting them..
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Your 18-21, you've had 3 bad relationships. Twice you've taken back women who have had been unfaithful. You have a lot of life to live before you are dead, and you will have relationships with many more women. The main point the aunts are trying to make, is you need to date more decent women.
I'm curious - you say you push nice girls away. But then you pick up girls who will go and have sex with a guy at a party, then turn go back to you and claim it is love. Why do you do this? What makes these women who are promiscuous so attractive to you?
That's what I mean when I say - you really need to think more deeply about everything. It's not the girls, it's something about the way you are deciding to live your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): You need to meet nice women in nicer circumstances. Stay well away from the party crowd, give yourself a little bit of time to be mad, and to heal, and then try again. Look for women through group activites/evening classes, bookstores, cafes, museums, art galleries, anywhere that isn't a nightclub or a party. The problem isn't that those women where bad or what they were doing was wrong, its clear that they didn't see their relationship with you as a serious, committed relationship, but more of a casual thing, and I can imagine that hanging out with people who like to party, and drinking heavily, didn't help at all with their choices.
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A
male
reader, Cultuz +, writes (20 November 2011):
Cultuz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers.. However, some answers have missed a very vital point.. I will recite it:''I work a respectable job and I don't hang out with a bad crowd anymore.'The problem seems that the damage is done.. I'm not calling women out to be sluts and liars... I say in my post: ''I think they are all liars and whores.. I know this is not the truth, but it seems that every woman that I meet is this way.''. But maybe it was getting tiring there in the end..What I'm saying is that these past relationships have seriously skewed my perception of women and I am well aware of it.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (20 November 2011):
Hi,Very simple. There's nothing wrong with you. The problem is that you are hanging out with the wrong people. Not all women are whores, and they don't "f" everything that moves.If your friends party 24/7, that's wrong. I know young people like to party, this is the best time of your lives. But, if they party 24/7 it's not normal, and these people are not smart. You need to do everything in moderation. You are hanging out with a group of losers. If they use drugs, they will get addicted. If they sleeping around they will get STD. If all they do is party, they will not have a successful life. Instead of having these drama in your life, try to stay away from these people. If your best friend slept with your ex-girlfriend, he was never your friend in the first place. Clearly, you are dating girls that have no respect for themselves, so therefore, of course they will not care about your feelings. You are young, and you still have a chance to make your life right. What's the most important thing to you right now is school, and getting a degree. I am sure you are better than this, so try to raise your standards. Try to make friends with people that you can learn from, people that know what respect, loyalty, integrity means. People that value life. There's more than party, sex, and drugs. Few years from now, you'll understand what I am telling you now. The choices that you make now, will lead to your future. Sorry that you have been through so much, but just know that not all girls are like that. Just know that not all guys will sleep with your girlfriend. Just know that, there's nothing wrong with you. These people are the ones that have problem. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): Wow I know your venting but geez, I have been sexually abused as a child, raped by my first boyfriend and I could still manage to realise that not all guys are like that. I have found a great man who treats me like a princess, and I am sure that you will find a woman who treats you right and who is worthy of your love. Unfortunately you have some very bad luck so far in finding a woman. Try going to different places to meet people as the places you have been too aren't the right one's. Please stop thinking every woman who shows any interest in you is a whore, it is unfair and not healthy for you. You have been hurt a lot, and it isn't fair, but instead of blaming all women, blame the one's who hurt you and don't answer their calls if they call.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (20 November 2011):
In case you missed it.. Information on the third girl can be found here.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-slept-with-my-friend-on-the-day.html
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (20 November 2011):
Yes, I know your just venting.. I read your first post. It was very, very interesting. You have some major problems with your way of thinking, and that's why you keep picking up unsuitable women. I noticed, you don't like to be criticized in anyway, as far as you are concerned you are perfect. This makes it very difficult for us aunts to be truthful with you. As far as your concerned, women are whores and vengeance is a wonderful thing. I hate to make any insults to your mother, but several things you have said makes me think that she has had problems with relationships and may have given you a strange idea about the best way to interact with people. I'm wondering what your mother thinks about the statement "All women are liars and whores".. there's a whole book that can be written right there.I think your problems with yourself are very, very serious, and I think you will have problems with romance for a very long time. Please go back to the first post and read the comment by our Aunt Tisha. She is very well respected here, and the advice she gives you is very good. As I said, it's too difficult to talk to you honestly. So vent away, and I'll say something useless and pointless like, you were right to dump these women, they weren't right for you. I won't mention anything hard, like, have you thought of counselling? Your way of thinking, is very unique. I don't often hear from people who think like you.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Iceland - what a wonderful interesting place in the world
I am glad that you do not include all of us in your "hate woman" post.
Rant as much as you want.
Indeed you have lucked out. And you have met women who did not understand the value of being faithful.
Surely your next girl ought to be a lovely girl because so far you have scored the short straw. it must be time for your luck to change?
But I can tell you this, the girls will love your ironic delightful sense of humor. I found your writing most entertaining
Here is what I believe will help you to find a nicer girl.
Avoid all the places you ever thought were reliable places to meet a girl. obviously your existing tactics are not working.
Get into some uplifting hobbies.
Find some interesting community projects where you can volunteer. I just had fun searching out what is available in Iceland and I was impressed. I am assuming your flag is accurate. Iceland? If you really live somewhere else this post will still have relevance because at least it might demonstrate that there really are some amazing interesting projects for locals and visitors to work alongside each other and learn more about the beautiful country called iceland
By getting involved in volunteer and community projects I believe you will meet more interesting girls, ones less fixated with increasing the number of their sexual partners and instead you would get a chance to volunteer and work alongside intelligent altruistic people (including girls) intent on doing good.
You are on the right route by choosing to avoid the drug culture and the alcohol fueled scene and the people fixated on seeking out sexual partners.
After checking out Iceland I found it has a huge number of interesting volunteer projects. A thriving sporting culture and many beautiful places to visit. I have no doubt that there are walking groups you could join.
And with yout lovely sense of humor there are possibly writing groups you could join to further your skills in that field.
And while checking out what is available in your country I found some links that might motivate you to find out more about the volunteer projects listed below.
Choose to go different places and you will meet different people. If you think the culture in your area is too sex obsessed than some overseas travel might lead to you discovering other cultures where sex is less dominant in the culture. Hang in there and I am sure you will find more honorable woman who are not promiscuous and who are faithful and honorble in their dealings with you.
here are the links that I found particularly interesting about aspects of life in Iceland and Volunteer projects in Iceland.
http://www.iexplore.com/dmap/Iceland/Activities
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/iceland/reykjavik/sights/spring-geyser/laugardalslaug-geothermal-pool
http://www.travelnet.is/activities/
http://www.icelandtouristboard.com/index.php?page=fun-things-to-do
FORESTRY AND GARDENING ACTIVITIES IN THE REHABILITATION AND HEALTH CLINIC IN HVERAGERDI
Hveragerði November 21 - December 5, 2011
Volunteer project: Hveragerði is a small town of about 1,700 inhabitants that lies some 45 km east of Reykjavík. This friendly little community sits on top of a highly active geothermal field which provides heat for hundreds of greenhouses where fruit, flowers and vegetables are produced throughout the year. Even bananas grow in these greenhouses! The name Hveragerði means ‘hot springs garden.’ Geothermal energy is Hveragerði’s lifeblood, and you probably won’t find such a natural wonder in the middle of a populated area anywhere else in the world. Nearby you will find an even more geothermally active site: Gufudalur, the lovely ‘Steam Valley’ behind the town. This whole valley is full of hot springs, geysers, mud pots, fumaroles and steaming vents.
www.unitedplanet.org/mission = volunteering all around the world
http://www.goabroad.com/providers/seeds-iceland/programs/seeds-volunteer-in-iceland-environmental-cultural-projects-36777
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A
female
reader, nicely20  +, writes (20 November 2011):
First Don't hate women because you had encounter someone like your ex. Because not all women are like your ex maybe you hadn't found the right one for you. And your still young you will experience a lot more when you grow older. Its normal once in our life time we are betrayed by someone we love. it can make us grow to became a better person.
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