A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really like someone that I only met once. I know it is absurd, maybe it's all a big fantasy in my head, but I just can't get him out of my head. I convince myself he's not the one, or force myself to stop thinking about him, but it all just comes back. I'm obsessed. I have done this before and obviously the guy turns out to not like me in the end...maybe because he knows how much i already like him. But the other part of it is that 2 psychics had good feelings about him. I don't go to psychics regularly, I just happened to meet one once, and wanted confirmation by purposely going to the other. I know I shouldn't believe a psychic, but it's also stuck in my head that one day it will be him. I might be blowing him up out of proportion and I tell myself he might be mean, he might not be able to take care of me, etc. but the truth is I just know he IS a good guy. He did take care of me when we went out, he was very practical and down to earth. He just makes sense. We had fun together. He is wise. He helps the less fortunate. He is the person that I want to be like. He calms me down. He makes sense. I feel at ease with him. I am extremely attracted to him. He is religious and cares about God. I feel like this is the perfect combination of great qualities that I am looking for. And I am not easy to please. I have been picky and my family knows this. They tell me no body is perfect. And this guy isn't perfect either, he's got quirks. But I just can't help it. I click with him. The issue is this: we are very different. I'm not practical or down to earth. I talked a lot on our first meet up. I opened up too quick. I basically messed up. But then I explained myself, saying that he made me feel comfortable and that I wanna see him again. He responded well and said he wanted to see me. The second issue is: I moved, very far away, like halfway across the world. But hes a traveler and was happy to be able to come to a different country to visit me...but has he? no! Third issue: I think I made a mistake by saying that I'm coming back to the states and will be coming to his state and would like to see him. Idk if he thought that was too forward but I made it seem like I wasn't just going to see him but I had errands to run there. He did not respond to this message at all. I felt like he was a bit cold by ignoring me. I just feel like as soon as i left, he slowly just stopped making an effort and lost interest. We lived 6 hours away in the states and that sucked too. The guy needs proximitiy. I've thought about moving there near him, but I don't want to do that for a guy. When i was near him he seemed interested. How can I make this happen? Is there a possibility? I have given him way too many hints. He's not open but I'm open. He takes things slow and I know he just wants a friendship first but with my circumstance being so far away, I wanna speed things up. I don't know what to do here. Should I just tell him how I feel or forget he ever existed? What bothers me is knowing someone so amazing exists, he actually exists, and I'm not with him. It bothers me and I can't enjoy other people. I try, I really try to enjoy other guys, but in the back of my mind, he's the best. I do compare, I can't help it. I just know what he'd do differently if I were with him in a certain situation. I fantasize yes, but I do believe that this isn't just a high school crush. I like him for real reasons. What do I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2013):
 you need to forget him.
you are halfway around the world and he's not making any effort to see you, that alone says it all...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): I have felt like that. I met this guy once and we sort of kept in touch and I always thought he was the one, even when I was seeing other people. I was obsessed with him and thought about him all the time... Mostly because I was unhappy in my relationships and thought they weren't working out because I was supposed to be with him.
Five years later, I can safely say that he was not the one. I am in a relationship with 'the one' and I knew after we'd been dating for around a month... He was so different from everyone else I'd been with.
Maybe this guy is the one, maybe he isn't. You can't say for sure until you've spent more time with him.
I probably wouldn't tell him how you feel, but it can't hurt to see if he wants to see you a bit more. If he doesn't seem that interested then I would maybe move on and try and forget about him... Part of someone being 'the one' is that they feel the same way about you!
Best of luck, I hope it all works out x
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