A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi every1sorry if this is a bit of a long question . im gonna try 2 keep it as short as i can. but i just really need sum help.i met sum girl last summer that i reealy liked, and she liked me bak. but of course, summer ended and that was tha end of tha "relationship" thing.i wannted 2 do a long distance thing, she said she realy liked me 2, but didnt think it was a gud idea.so it was neva "a real thing"but we talked everyday.on ichat i talked to her all tha time and i got her number - we txted all tha time.I dun really know how it Wasnt a real thing, cause it seemed like i was her maan.she realy sold it 2. she told me she missed me all tha time and we were gonna see eachotha soon when she came to Detroit where her family was.but then one day she told me she had a bf, and i was devustated.all of october was ruinedi asked her 2 stay friends, and she said shure.so ever since then, i been tryin to get her on ichat.i text her alot, and she replies only sumtimes.Only Sumtimes.It hurts.I realy liked her, she seemed 2 be the only gurl ive ever liked that much.but now she has a bf, and she ignores me,im still confused.she leads me on, then pushes me off.i hear the only waay ya can move on is if you find a new gurl.but i can't.i been looking.i need encouragement, i need advicei don wanna move on. but i feel like theres no otha way to get outtta the mess that im ini have no idea how she be doin.but i need help. please
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much.
i dun no any1 who could give that much help
i appricheate it
i text, cause if i called her, itd be more money
and i dun know any other way to talk to her
yea, im feeling pretty lonely righ now.
im kinda wonderin what ya mean by "See yourself in a new light"
i could try the gym
and sorry for the late reply
i neva had a chance 2 check this
A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I know that really hurts and I don't know one person (including myself) who hasn't experienced that little misery at least once. Now I'm going to tell you pretty much what your elder relatives will so I hope you don't mind, because it's true:You are far too young to commit yourself to an exclusive relationship with anyone because you haven't yet had the chance to spread your own wings and choose your path in life. Next year, it may be you who leaves a disappointed girlfriend because you've gone to college, into business or even the military. Life will happen and you'll go wherever you have to when the time comes.How can you put up with all that texting? I'm just curious, having grown up a long time before that got popular and to me, it still seems a lot more bother than it's worth. With a phone call, one at least has to have something particular to say; not so with texting. One can send or worse, forward on what somebody else started: little pictures, video, music, with no useful content at all, making you rush out of your bath in case it's important, all for nonsense. I find it annoying but that's because I don't like to be pestered constantly by anyone at all. Believe me, even in the hottest romance, never having a quiet moment to yourself and your own business gets old fast! If you're texting your long-distance friend every day, it's just possible the novelty of it has worn off by now and she's tired of it. Just to keep your mind busy, write down all the things you admire about this person. Why do you like her? Why did she like you? Whatever be those qualities, devise a way to develop them in yourself. You may not know yet that much of what we find attractive in other people consists of things we long to find in ourselves. Develop yourself on as many levels as you can and while you're busy with that, the positive energy radiating from you will attract many new friends. Whatever your long-distance girlfriend is doing now in her own environment, she'll be letting you know she thinks of you on her own without you having to do anything if you two have something you want to keep. Stop worrying.Have you considered that you might just be infatuated with infatuation? You're in the mood to feel romantic and have latched onto someone it seems to fit at the moment - not for the long haul. Even much older people fall into that trap. It's hard to separate what we want to feel about someone from who that object of our interests really is. We don't see that person except filtered through our own feelings - most of which we have conjured out of thin air. And then we feel betrayed when 'she' or 'he' doesn't follow the script of our rapt daydreams. These are human emotional responses and we all have them - no matter how well we've learned to conceal it with maturity.You are certainly feeling lonely now. There may be a lot of reasons for that you haven't mentioned yet. Now, here's what you must do about it - don't blow off this advice because it's guaranteed to gain you respect from women in general: Seek out somebody more lonely than you, someone who really needs a little company. An elderly relative or friend, a recent widow or widower, a neglected child; you surely know a lot of people who fit the bill. Reach out to them and in doing, see yourself in a new light. Get involved with your world, kid. You've already shown a lot of resourcefulness and moral courage by coming here with your problem. You're not the type that just sits around and whines about things. Good! You'll be thanking that girl who left you sooner than you think for this experience has brought you to discover more about yourself and how much you truly have to offer the world. Chin up - and maybe, go pump iron. I always found that a real comfort when I had a 'crunch' on somebody and was moping about it.
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