A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloNot sure if this is a problem at the moment or could be a problem that I need to nip in the bud now?I was married for 10 years to a very abusive man, we were extremely young and our relationship was extremely tempestuous but once we had children I knew this wasn't a good environment to bring them up and nothing was going to change so I left him, he was heartbroken but we just couldn't be together, move on another 9 years and I'm remarried and happy he's been in and out of relationships but seems to have chilled out now he's getting older the children still see him every other weekend (at his parents home...( They hate me as I left there precious son and believe you should stick threw thick and thin)About 6 weeks ago he met a new women she is a police officer, he told the children after week one she was the one and he would marry her (the children were mortified) after week 3 she moved him into her home (despite having a child) and from then onwards I have had nothing but grief from him via her , it started with him shouting down the phone is ripped him off during our divorce, the truth being he hounded me for a settlement as I stayed in the house for a while, I gave him 20k and sold our home after a year and a half and made 70k on it.... He says it's not fair and wants another 10k as she's told him I've ripped him off (he didn't have or want a lawyer when we divorced) then the next call was I'm ripping him off over Maintence, I reminded him I didn't set the amount but the CSA did and he said I shouldn't get anything as I have the main equity in the house... He then texts me last night when he has our 12 year old and says she has has headlice and the girlfriend says I'm neglecting her.... That's she's also overweight another sign I'm neglecting her... I wasn't aware she had headlice but we have 2 younger children so there's always a possibility and I'll treat her tonight but she's not overly overweight she's 5f 4 and weighs 9 stone 10, I'm now worried he's ether lying about me or there trying to get access of my 2 kids with him.... Despite what he's done to me I've always maintained a healthy relationship for the sake of the kids but if in completely honest he's never been that bothered and it's his parents who are the constant in there life's.... This women has been in his life weeks what the hell does it have to do with her anyway.. I'm worried to argue back because of the job she does.... I feel scared and upset as I love my children and feel I'm a good mummy but got this awful feeling she's cooking up something so he get the kids and money from me.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 My suggestion is to END the conversations when he gets started on some rant about the past. Just tell him you can't change that past and you do not want to discuss the subject that all you will TALK to him about are the kids. DO NOT ARGUE with either of them. Simply REFUSE to argue.
YOu kids might be at the age where they are OLD enough to decide if they want to visit or not.
Contact a lawyer.
As for your child. Having head lice is NOT neglect. If you KNEW she had head lice and did nothing THEN it's neglect. My youngest got lice from a class mate and it was a cleaning nightmare, but after 3 weeks of "overzealous" cleaning we got totally rid of them. My suggestion is you get ON it. That means was all bedding, vacuum all mattresses, couches, pillows, blankets washed, stick cuddly toys in a bag, remove as much air from the bag then either place it in a freezer or garage/basement for 4-6 weeks. Use the lice stuff, and pick all the eggs you can find off. Redo the check and remove eggs twice daily. Check ALL the kids. I used a product called Lice Shield and it worked good to prevent reinfestation, but it doesn't KILL eggs that are already there. My youngest had to have her hair braided tightly and I hosed it down with both Lice shield and Hair spray for the rest of the school year. She ended up being one of a handful that didn't get lice again. I hope we NEVER get those critters again. Gross little nasty things!! lol
Don't LET either of them intimidate you.
As for your daughters weight, well part of it can be genetic, not enough exercise, it can also be stress from school and dealing with the divorce.
I think this will burn out sooner rather then later.
And I don't think it's ALL her. I think your ex have painted quite a "picture" of you and she fueled his fire.
They can't just "take" your kids.
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