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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex left me and dated another girl a while later when he said he didn't want a relationship. He's treated me like dirt and is indecisive about what he wants. He was all nice and wanted to work things out, but now he's back to being a jerk and is treating me like crap again. I'm hurt and dont know how to deal with it all. He's lied to me so many times and he hangs around a lot of girls... he says they're friends but I think he's got other intentions. What should I do? I still love him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, not again +, writes (3 November 2005):
Hi there, I have been in exactly the same place as you before, and I'm only just coming out of it now!! It is very difficult but you have to give up any hope that you will ever be happy together. this is very hard to digest but it is the truth- there will never be a future. So when you acknwledge that it is easier to make decisions that benefit YOU rather than him. If anything ever happens with you and him again he will treat you the same, so try and distance yourself away from him so that doesnt and cant happen. Now that you know he treats you like crap you only have yourself to blam if he hurts you again- because it is essentially you hurting yourself by letting yourself be in that position.
Please, for your own benefit, start taking steps to get over this guy. Keep busy, do lotsa writing if you need to, treat yourself to the things you enjoy doing a bit more often, get concelling if you need it. I went for a bit so i could work out why i was still wnated to be with this person who was only nice for one second of the day and the rest of the time treated me like crap. We know it is wrong so why do we let it happen?
I wish you all the best. it is a bit of a long process but sooo worth it in the end. Because you can either heal yourself and find a guy who treats you like what you're worth (ie very well!!) or you can keep getting hurt by a guy who's never gonna respect you and never gonna change. good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2005): How can you love a man that is incapable of loving you back, hun? The fact that you wrote in, tells me that you really want to make the best life choice for yourself and you are having doubts about him. You sound like someone who wants desperately to be loved and, frankly, will pay almost any price to have it happen. You are with a young man, whom, for the most part, has "blown you off & treats you like dirt" and you have made the decision, that you are "love" this guy?? Why are you settling for nothing?? He's a big moral-zero..You can pretend he loves you but we both know, he can ignore you except when he has an itch to fill. A truly loving guy is considerate and thoughtful, not self-centered and hurtful. One truly judges whether someone loves you by their character and this guy has NO character! Loving, kind, and caring men place their partner at the center of their lives, You can mope and weep evertime he treats you badly, or you can realize that you gave yourself to someone who doesn’t value you. Dump him fast, girl-You deserve more; any woman does.
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