A
male
age
,
*AZZAC64
writes: I have been married to my wife for 19 years. We have 3 children and have had a great sex life. I started doing artwork on the computer most nights last year and she felt I was neglecting her. She started going out with friends and I started suspecting she was playing away. I since found out that she kissed a couple of girls in a Gay nightclub and she was taking risky pictures on her mobile with another girl. We have talked and argued about all this and I was ready to leave. Now we have decided to stay together but there isn't anything there romantically/sexually. I can't seem to get close to her and it is killing me inside. I don't know how to get her back. We have a problem getting babysitters so getting out is a problem. What can I do?
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (20 January 2007):
I think this calls for professional help. Often when two individuals talk about emotive issues like this they hit a brick wall. They find themselves going round in circles and having the same argument with the same results.
Have you thought about going to a trained relationship therapist? They will be able to guide your discussions in different directions, helping you to come to some logical conclusion in your relationship....be that moving on and away from each other or repairing the damage caused by what has gone on.
Please try to fix this. Exhaust every channel before you give up.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 January 2007):
You owe it to your kids to try everything possible before you leave your marriage. Can you try to forgive your wife if she doesn't do it again? Can you make some more time for her so she doesn't feel neglected? Can she promise you she'll change? It might also be worth trying to get some counselling to help you find your way back to each other. I don't think you need to go out to reconnect. If you can get some time alone without the kids then great, but if you can't concentrate on little gestures, like special dinners after the kids are in bed etc.
CD
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