A
female
age
30-35,
*XAlexxX
writes:Firstly, my boyfriend has never given me a reason not to trust him - as far as I know, he's never cheated on me, or any of his partners.But, we where talking a few months ago, and I found out that when he was about 16, he had a gay relationship at boarding school, which involved full on sex one time. (That was about 7 years ago, and although he's never had a gay relationship since, he did the whole emo thing of being 'bi' and kissing guys at parties etc).I'm not homophobic, but the idea of him having gay sex really, really upset me; I'm not sure why. But, to the point where I found it hard to be near him for a while, and I kept picturing him having sex with this guy and it made me feel physically ill.Anyway, I got over that, or I thought I did but lately, he has a male friend, who he's really close to. He's always been one of those people who is very close to their friends, and wants to spend as much time with them as he can. But this friendship really bugs me - I think his friend might be gay. And it sounds stupid, but I worry SO much every time they meet up together and I'm not there. I can't get images out my head of him cheating on me with this guy, and I've just come home for a few days for easter. From the sound of it, he's at this guys house all the time, and it is just freaking me out.I have to keep ringing him all the time, and if he doesn't pick up, I'm like omg him and **** (his friend) are having sex.I've talked to him about it, and he says that since he experimented at boarding school, he's been certain that he's straight, and he doesn't fancy his friend, he just enjoys his company because they have similar hobbies etc. I know he's right, but I just can't get over this. What's wrong with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): For goodness sake, chill -- if you're calling him all the time and stressing when he doesn't pick, you're smothering him. Keep it up an he will want an affair with someone else. Decide if you can trust him, yes or no, and act accordingly.
A
female
reader, Teenage-Rebel +, writes (10 April 2009):
 There isnt anything wrong with you. Its okay to feel akward finding out that your boyfriend went out with another guy in the past.
You will have to trust him. Their close friends but it doesn't mean that he is cheating on you.
Anyway he was like you said around 16 at the time and its normal to experiment in teenage years.
I think what you should do is say to your boyfriend that you do trust him not to cheat on you but finding out about his gay relationship is making you feel akward and slightly paranoid.
Tell him how you feel. its probably the only way to get over things.
hope this helps
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