A
male
age
51-59,
*K DAS
writes:I got married 16 month ago and having a child of 5 month old. Every time at the time of lovemaking my wife resist me showing pain and uncomfort. Also she tried to keep her legs tight at the time of lovemaking. I have already asked if there is any infection or require medical treatment. Whenever I managed after using lubricant after repeated try, I observed that there is no reason to resist. It was ok, moved freely but she said thet she did not getting any pleasure except little pleasure on clitorial friction. What may be the actual reason?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 So she really does not want lovemaking at all? Hmmm, has she told you why? We don't know what she's thinking, only she does, and until you can get her to answer, we can only guess here.
Did she want to get married? Does she love you? Do you love her?
I'm afraid you're going to have to ask her to discuss this with you. We won't be able to do anything but guess and speculate, and that won't help, I think.
A
male
reader, JK DAS +, writes (26 March 2008):
JK DAS is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx 4 your suggestion.Every time she refused even before our child,before pregnancy also.I think there is no medical problem at all.If she donot like to do,why?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 March 2008):
If she is keeping her legs together, complains of pain and discomfort and needs lubrication for intercourse, it sounds to me like she does not want to do it! Phiatiger has a very good point about her body not having recovered from having the baby, as well as being exhausted by caring for the newborn.
Please don't push her into sex until you've had an honest conversation with her and listen to what she says about how she's feeling. It may be time for a doctor's visit for her to see if there is anything that causes the pain.
Please do think of her comfort and her pleasure too, if she is physically able to have intercourse. Foreplay, massaging her, stroking and caressing her, letting her know how much you love her in a gentle way may help her relax.
Communication is the important thing here, so please don't be angry with her if she is unable at this point to feel like making love. Calm, gentle and loving words are very important!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Ever thought she just didnt want to but is thinking too much about your needs?
Having a baby is such a huge effort for the body and mind, she needs time to come round to the idea that things, including her body are not the same - even though they look okay to you, its how they feel to her.
How about not being so quick to lube up and get in there and try talking to her about the whole experience and why she is finding it so traumatic.
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