A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my finance left me after 4 years in march. I had been down in the dumps for awhile due to finances and job issues. he said that I was depressed to much and he will always love me but he was not in love with me anymore. He leaves that night I dont talk to him for a month. i look at the cell phone bill we had toether and see he had all these calls. I find out it is another woman. I love him so much still and could not believe that he was cheating on me . I ignored him for one month then I answered emails and he called me from a strange number. We started talking again, I discussed the situation about the other woman with him. He said she was a friend and he was not talking to her anymore because he had some issues with her. i said he sould not of been talking to her in the frist place. he got defensive. Then i said if we are going to work on things then we need to be honest from this point on . Trust has to be rebuilt and if there is anyone else then please let me know and let me go. we have been working on things for a few months he lives in a house a hour away . i am still in our apartment we meet up a few times a week he calls me every day and we talk all the time on the computer etc. Last weekend He past out when i was sleeping over his house. I was on his computer and found all theses websites where he has been talking to other women. Then well he was asleep his phone was blowing up and he did not notice because it was on vibrate. i looked thru his phone and found text messages and numbers to a few different girls. In some of the messages the girl he said he was no longer talking with said she loved him could not wait to see him again etc. Then there is another girl say all this love dove stuff and sending him pic of herself. I am so hurt I talked with him about it but was not specific kind of general because i did not want him to think i looked thru his things. I said if there is anyone else you would let me go and be honest and he said there is no one and got defensive again. since then he has been over and we have fun and incredibile sex. I look on his phone when he was sleeping and there is all these messages from these girls again. I know I am stupid but love is blinding me i do not know what to do. he spends time and talks with me all the time. I hate it because if he is not with me know I just go crazy thinking about him with another woman. I am so confused because when we are together it feels right. I have not told anyone in my family about us seeing each other again because i wanted to be sure it was going to work before i told them because they doubt him. I cant talk to anyone about this because i know i am being stupid and i am keeping us a secert. Please give me some advise
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone good advise appreciate it
A
female
reader, channie  +, writes (28 June 2009):
your so much better then this, i have been in your position and believe me ur the 1 that gets hurt, lock things of because he dont seem to have any respect for you or he would'nt be lying, if he was the one for you he would av supported u while u were depressed and would be loving you now not lying to u, u can do so much better. cut ur loses. u will find the right 1 when u lease expect it.
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A
female
reader, channie +, writes (28 June 2009):
your so much better then this, i have been in your position and believe me ur the 1 that gets hurt, lock things of because he dont seem to have any respect for you or he would'nt be lying, if he was the one for you he would av supported u while u were depressed and would be loving you now not lying to u, u can do so much better. cut ur loses. u will find the right 1 when u lease expect it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Are you actually seeing each other? If so then this is wrong and hes cheating again and im afraid although it hurts you need to get rid of him soon.however if you are not seeing each other then he is actually doing nothing wrong seeing these women as much as it may hurt.yes its wrong to lie to you but if you two arent dating then he owes nothing to you unfortunately.i wouldnt trust him as he is lying and it would be much better for you to just dump him.if you do stay with him i would prepare myself for a lot of hurt.
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