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anonymous
writes: I am 26. and I have been married recently. The problem is that in the first night of my marriage, my wife told me that she has menses, that continued for 4 days. For those four days I was feeling very hot for sex. And my erection was also great. But after four days my erection was not that hard and I feel embarrassed during sex. Moreover just at the start of intercourse, when I try to put my half erect penis into her, I get discharge. And after that I don’t feel like having sex. Before this marriage I never had sex. Please suggest if you think that there is some problem with me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2005): Hi, my husband and I had a similar set of experiences when we first got married too(We're now into our eighth wonderful year). Just remember it is the marriage, the friendship and the love that are important, and if those are well, the lovemaking will only be enhanced. I'm certain your wife is probably unsure as well. Try to reassure each other and focussing on each other. Talk about your feelings and include each other in building back both your self-esteems, then plan your reunion as if it were the first time. As you become more comfortable with each other you might be lucky enough to find, as we have, that it only gets better and better the more the marriage develops, and that it's wonderful being able to see the relationship and the sexual enjoyment grow. Hope this helps.
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reader, kirstie +, writes (3 May 2005):
No I don't think there is a problem with you. It's probably that you hadn't had sex before. Try and have a break and try sex in about 3 weeks. If no change, go to your GP.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2005): I think that you have been building up to this one big moment in your life and were at a point of realising what you have envisioned. Making love to the woman you are in love with only to feel disappointed when it didn't happen for you.I also think that you are perhaps replaying that time over and over and worrying yourself too much. You will not be relaxed if you constantly worry of what has been. It happened; there is no turning the clocks back.You need to forget that time and look forward to the future. Sometimes things don't happen the way we would like them to or when we would like them to. Put it down to experience and move it from your mind as if you are starting completely anew.The less you worry, the less stressed you will be and the less stressed you are, the better the chances of you achieving your erection again.Don't forget stress makes us a mess and to relax and de-stress is always best. I hope this helps you.
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