A
female
age
51-59,
*urtin2008
writes:I just found out my husband is and has been cheating for the 5 years that we were married. When i asked him why he done this to me he said that he had never loved me. Can someone live with someone, marry them and not love them? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sarah_s +, writes (29 March 2008):
 How harsh. That man has no right to call himself a man. I don't see any pride to that it just spells 'loser'. He is not even worth your time dear so, don't feel any sorrow to it as it's not worth it.
Best wishes. Sarah.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): To answer your question.....YES!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I guess some people marry for reasons other than love such as money, security. I do think your situation is VERY uncommon, cause I would think most people marry for love.
Were you supporting him?? What exactly was your arrangement with him?? If you were supporting him and he had alot to gain in this marriage other than just a loving wife, then perhaps he did have an agenda. But if he was a good provider and was the one to propose to you and had been a good husband to you for the most part, then maybe he just met someone else and said what he said out of spite. That's possible too.
You can tell if someone loves you. They go the super extra mile for you. Who was doing all the work in this relationship, you or him? If it was him then he absolutely loved you. If it was you then he might have been using you this whole time.
The only thing I absolutely know for sure is that a guy who loves you would never cheat on you. So it sounds like you are better off without him anyways.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Hey,
I'm sorry to hear that. Been through a similar situation myself where the guy I was with tried to make out there was nothing between us after all - when in fact I have love letters from the beginning which beg to differ!
I'm sure you have similar things.
It sounds to me like he feels guilty and has issues himself and rather than face them, and rather than confront the fact that he's clearly a bad guy for what he's done, he's deflected them onto you and the relationship.
It's nonsense though - you can't be with someone that long and feel nothing, even if it's friendship love.
You just have to give yourself as much time as you need to recover from this betrayal of your trust and your feelings. Don't beat yourself up to get over him quickly (as I am doing now, it just takes as long as it takes).
I know one thing for sure - the problem certainly isn't with you, it's most definitely with him and you've had a lucky escape even though it doesn't feel like that now I'm sure.
Good luck and I hope you meet someone more worthy of you.
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