A
male
age
41-50,
*ockshot777
writes:Hello, new here.For the past 5 months i have been going through a divorce with my wife and met a woman going through a divorce as well. Her ex really hurt her and attacked her one night, something she never expected which ended their relationship. He ended up going to jail for a few nights and she had to move away from him to another state. Meeting her, i thought we had a connection, despite the fact we didn't really have a lot in common. Two weeks after meeting her, we were intimate. I did a lot to take care of her, especially financially since she was starting over without a job or alimony. I really cared for her immensely.She started telling me she missed this fella. I got really hurt, but she explained she was trying to get over him as their relationship did end quickly 7 months prior. One night, I just had this feeling and checked her texts. She told him she missed him and loved him. This after all i tried to do for her. Yesterday, i did it again. she said if she could do it over, she would still be with him. This after I drove 90 miles to spend time with her because she was depressed.She got angry with me when I told her i wanted to leave that night. She said i was leaving her like everyone else when she was most vulnerable. And that i was selfish for wanting her to get over him mand love me completely. I don't know what to do. I love her so much. I thought she was the one.I know some girls can't get over their exs. And i know they had so much in common and she tells me so. I cant help but feel i am here just to help her move on and when she is stable, she will have no use for me. I can't leave her because I worry for her and she doesn't want to be alone. And if I stay, I know I'll end up feeling depressed because she misses something that was for a while her best relationship. Help me someone, I don't like this
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, desesperada  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 HiI was that girl once and all I can tell you is please try not to get too attatched to this woman. I was with a guy for 7 years and then we broke it off. During that time I found someone who adored me and treated me 10x better than my ex but for SOME reason I just couldnt forget about my ex....its not that the new guy wasnt good enough in fact he was better,...i think its just very hard for women to let go of the past...needless to say I ended up breaking the poor guys heart and getting back with my ex. Now I find myself thinking about the other guy more. I think she will totally regret getting back with her ex if that is what she ends up doing. Then after she realizes what she had with you, shes going to try and come back into your life again. This is a toxic situation, I really hurt this guy bad and I think she has the potential to hurt you the same way. The best thing to do here is to give her some space and some time to heal. I know you said she doesnt want you to leave her but you need to look out for yourself as well. Tell her you aren't leaving her but that you think it would be best to spend less time together until she heals. I hope this helps, good luck
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