A
male
age
30-35,
*hernandez1991
writes:Im a guy and im bi. I have a boyfriend. We kiss and and perform acts of intemacy. But after we do all that I feel,so much guilt. I know I should not,be doing what,i am doing because thats how I was raised. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Usagi  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 the way our parent's raised us mirror their own way of seeing things. it's not our way though... do you like your boyfriend? do you love him? do you respect him and his feelings? if the answer to all of this is yes, then you have no reason to feel guilty. sometimes it's hard to let go of the things your family tought you, but it's the right thing to do. you can either hide your face in shame and guilt about your choices, or you can stand up and defend them. it won't be easy but at least you can look back and know you were true with yourself.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): You need to let go of the Judeo-Christian ethos of homosexuality being wrong ... there is NO wrong between consenting adults. If it helps, consider the source - the bible - this is the same source that says that a woman who is raped should marry her attacker; the same source whose passages about Sodom and Gomorrah were all about the 'evils' of homosexuality - but no-one seems to draw attention to Lot trying to whore out his daughters to the crowd to appease them. Honestly, my advice would be to start off by reading 'The Da Vinci Code' and get an idea of how the Bible came about (yes, it's a fiction novel, but the fact behind it is startling), then realise that the Bible is self-referncing - i.e. it's right because it says it's right. Finally, look at all the destruction in people's lives because of the sexual moral guidance and judgment it sets ... women were burned and drowned for being witches only a few hundred years ago; thousands of unmarried women were forced to give up babies as recently as 20 years ago because they were considered "whores" for being unmarried; in some countries, women are stoned to death for extra-marital sex based on someone else's views on sex. You be with the partner you want to be with and let no-one cast judgment over that. Don't feel guilty because you shouldn't!! Sex and love is about people - ANY two consenting people. You just have to de-program yourself from ingrained, antequated moral judgment. Remember, there is no right and wrong - sexuality is what it is. No-one chooses it.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 you need to explain in more detail what the problem is-if you have a value system which is rigid and you are breaking it then it will make you feel guilty. at some point you need to think for yourself and make your own mind up on what constitutes right and wrong in relation to sex and sexuality. accept yourself and your behaviour OR dont and cut out the behaviour. these are the options you have...
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A
female
reader, sweetness123 +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Hi I don't know how old you are I do understand how being raised with moral can affect your relationships. I have the same issue I am an older woman with a boyfriend of 5 years he wants to explore with other couples I am curious my bringing up comes up (morals) my parents are now deceased. I say as an adult a good person this is my life and if I am happy and not hurting anyone else. I only have myself to answer to at the end of the day. Lets just say for you and I lets be happy judge only ourselves do not be ashamed to be you. We dont need permission to be happy enjoy life. Lets be happy my friend its our lives...emma
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