A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has cheated on me recently(three weeks ago). I ask him to delete the woman on social media, block her number etc. He did.However, she still pops up in different messengers and such. when i ask to for the passwords to his accounts he refuses to give them to me. If he has nothing to hide , why not?? I just want to be able to trust him again. I want to be able to log in and see nothing. I want to be reassured. Why isnt he doing anything to regain my trust?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2016): Ask yourself this .. why should he worry ? He has cheated been caught and you're still with him ... People who cheat do not care .. get rid of him
A
female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (14 March 2016):
How dare he treat you so poorly! Please don't put up with this disgusting behaviour! He doesn't respect you or value you, and I see no evidence therefore of him loving you.
This will continue and get worse I have no doubt.
Have better for yourself, please, go get someone decent!
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (14 March 2016):
 Hi,
your bf has no intention to stop talking to and seeing other women.
If his intent was to never repeat what he did, to never hurt you again and if he truly felt any remorse or guilt for what he did within your relationship, then he'd be doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE right now, to regain your trust, however, he won't because if truth be known, he doesn't really care, nor does he feel serious remorse.
It is highly possible, that he will repeat what he did again.
YOU have CHOSEN to remain with him, even after he broke your trust, so to him, he sees this as a green light to do it again, because if you were that angry, hurt, upset, you'd most likely have left him, but you are still with him.
After what he did, the fact that he won't give you any of his passwords, simply implys that he does have "something" to hide, however, you cannot force him, nor anybody to share their passwords with you, even if they cheated on you, at least not unless, he had "nothing" to hide and he chose/wanted to share everything with you.
You are still young, so you should seriously contemplate whether you really wish to remain within this type of relationship.
My personal opinion is that, he will continue to do this to you, as to date, he has not promised you that he will never do anything to hurt you or your relationship again.
I doubt this is the last time, he will do this to you and to your relationship.
I am sorry if i sound harsh, however, as a fellow woman, i would like to see you happy and content within your relationship.
When you remain with a man who has cheated and is showing little remorse and appears to still be hiding secrets from you, then you need to ask yourself, why would i remain with this guy, after what he did to us?
I suspect your self-esteem may be somewhat low and you don't even realise your own self-worth.
If this is the case, then i would advise you to visit your local GP and ask for a referral to see somebody professional, ie: Counsellor and discuss the entire issue and find out where the source of your own insercurities stem from.
I say this, because if you were a very confident person, i doubt that you'd be tolerating this behaviour, nor hanging around in this relationship.
Your bf clearly doesn't deserve you. Believe me when i say, you can do much better.
I wish you all the best. :-)
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (14 March 2016):
 Because he probably thinks he hasn't done much wrong, doesn't really care and more than likely is intending to do it again. Sounds harsh but from my experience any one serious about redeeming themselves would eat shit to prove just how much they are willing to rebuild trust and get the relationship back on track.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 March 2016):
 If he is doing nothing to regain your trust... why are you still with him?
My guess is he is presuming that since you are still with him what he did wasn't "that" bad. And since he isn't trying to show you that he is remorseful, which could be allowing you to see his stuff if he so chooses (though you are not OWED the right to go through his things because he cheated or because you are his GF).
Going through his things won't make you start to trust him again. IT will only make you feel a need to check up on him.
He obviously didn't block her from everything, just the things you first mentioned. THAT is the loop hole he has chosen to use. "Well, you didn't say I couldn't snapchat with her any more" - which is a piss poor excuse and definitely shows just how little he cares about what he did and about rebuilding trust.
Sorry, he is not going to stop what he is doing. Not does he feel an ounce of remorse.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 March 2016):
 Because he intends to continue to be in contact with her.
A friend of mine is in the midst of a divorce because her husband of over 20 years did the same thing. He didn’t want to deal with the password thing and being transparent because he wanted to keep cheating. It bought him another year of marriage but it is now OVER.
He couldn’t understand the differences between secrecy and privacy.
If you are in your mid to late 20s and haven’t been together long? I’d say “NEXT! Please move along, ex-boyfriend, you and I are done.”
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