A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I could really do with some advice. I have been together with my boyfriend for 7 years, living together for most of that. Six months ago we had to move apart for work, which was fine to begin with. He used to call, email, text, etc. But now unless I make the effort to get in touch I never hear from him- he syas that he just has too much (academic) work to do. We split up 3 weeks ago when he said he just wanted to concentrate on work from now on, but then a week later got back together again, and he was very attentive, kind, etc, completely different to how he had been before. But now he's gone back to his place I have hardly heard from him in nearly 2 weeks, only one email. I am guessing that he wants to end things, but I feel that after so long he could at least do the decent thing and let me know. I'm also so confused because we had an amazing weekend after getting back together, but now he doesn't seem to want to know. I feel so stupid, and I know I should probably end things. But after being together for so long I hate to let go because I can't imagine being without him and I'm scared. Anyway, any advice would be great, even if it's just to tell me what I probably already know but hate to admit to myself! Thanks in advance!
View related questions:
got back together, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): Hi first I would like to say I am sorry that you are going through this, I know you are hurting and I don't want you to think I take this lightly, however, you may not like my advice or what I have to say about this, but here goes.
You are no older than 29, you have been with this guy since you were no older than 22 and you have settled, yes settled for a living together relationship. Sorry to tell you, but this shows the immaturity of the two people involved. You have been playing house all this time and you have grown dependent on him without any real commitment, as someone who lives with you KNOWS they have an easy way out and can leave anytime....it is having all the benefits of a real married life, without any of the true responsibilities and commitment....so he is on to something else, and not surprisingly he is is disregarding you and taking you for granted. You have taught him how to treat you, you have never expected anything else from him but to take his freedom and give you a false sense of security by living with you.
This guy has no intention of ever marrying you or being the father of your kids, or he would have been talking about that and making steps to make that happen...instead he has shared expenses with you it sounds like.
No reason to feel stupid. Learn from this and never settle for less than you DESERVE from a man again...he won't value you unless you value yourself.
|
