A
female
age
36-40,
*anwanzhong
writes:I have known a male friend of mine for 8 months.We are friends but not close.We see each other once a month and it's always in a group.It was my farewell party 3 months ago.I dressed up and I took some photos with my friends.This guy friend drank some vodka. Both of us were alone in the kitchen after the farewell party. He's a bit drunk/tipsy and then he started acting touchy-freely towards me. He kept winding me up and bitching about the face of my crush(my crush wasn't there of course)! He was so annoying because he kept telling me that my crush was SO UGLY! When I reacted,he kept laughing! He asked me whether my crush had hugged me before. I said 'yes'. Then he asked me whether my crush hugged me that often and whether I felt happy when my crush was hugging me. I said 'yes,of course'. Then he asked me,"then can I hug you?" I said "yes" because I expected that it was just a friendly hug and the hug from in front. To my surprise,he walked up behind me and put his arms around my neck and my shoulder! Actually it was our first hug....Then,he kept winding me up by putting my bedroom key into the freezer,then into my sauce pan(I was boiling food atm).He also poured loads of vodka that he was drinking into the food which I was cooking!When I reacted,he laughed!!Then,he suddenly came up to me and hugged me again and again.The hug was from in front this time. Then,he winded me up again and he stroked my hair slowly and gently from the top to the bottom!He also gently and slowly touched my forearms with his arms.This is so weird!One month later, he and I went to our friend's house. My guy friend and I were alone in my friend's bedroom. I was kneeling down on the floor and charged his mobile phone for him. Suddenly he was also kneeling down behind me and he started playing with my hair! He stroked my hair playfully and he touched my back and he kept laughing! When I reacted,he laughed! Then,he suddenly stood up and closed the door of the bedroom! And then he came back and continued touching my hair and my back! He even put some small stuff into my t-shirt! When he saw my reaction,he kept laughing!!Once we were walking down the street,he played with my hair again and he put my hair into his mouth! He bit it and he told me,"the smell of your hair is even better than your cooking" I know this is creepy..but he had told me he loved my hair.......Once I went to a supermarket with him and we wanted to buy some food and drinks. He likes beers and wines. He picked up a bottle of wine but he put it back on the shelf after awhile. I wondered why he did this. I asked,"oh?you don't want to buy wine? I thought you liked wine" He said,"If I buy wine,I'm going to lose you" and "I'm sure you'll remember me if I get drunk".I originally thought that he liked me in a romantic way.So I started to fall for him. A month ago, when I texted him telling him I loved him as more than a friend and asked him whether he loved me,he didn't respond to my text at all! After a month,we talked to each other again.He asked me whether I had got over him.He also asked me whether I was still in love with him.He told me he wasn't in love with me and he wouldn't go out with me.He said we were good friends.What the f**k?!!Then why did he do those things to me before??What do you think about his intention?!!Do I read into it too much??
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female
reader, wanwanzhong +, writes (29 January 2011):
wanwanzhong is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the walking dude:Thank you for your reply. I had no idea that he didn't want a relationship until I sent him the love text and he didn't reply at all! I am so stupid and naive. I should have recognised this in the very beginning.How can I differentiate whether a guy just wants sex or a guy truly likes me?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): It's pretty obvious he doesn't want a relationship. It sounds to me he either wants to be friends with benefits or have sex with you, either way i wouldn't get more involved.
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