A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. in the beginning of our relationship, when we had been going out for about two months, i kissed another boy when i was super drunk around new years eve. he forgave me and ive never done anything like that since and would never. for the past week my boyfriend has been really distant and wierd, he asked to go on a break without even giving me an explanation besides saying that he needs time to think and that he feels like he hasnt been treating me that good lately and he thinks time away from me will allow him to appreciate me more. then today we made up and everything was fine. we went to his house and i asked him if he cheated on me and if thats why hes been acting strange and he laughed it off and said that he would never do that to me, after that we had sex and about five minutes after we had sex he told me that a few days before that he kissed another girl while he was drunk. i dont know what to do now. this is the guy that i thought i was going to marry and have babies with and i love him so much but this hurts so bad and every time i think of him with her i want to puke.i need advice.I have very bad trust issues as it is and very low self-esteem should i stay with him? or should i date around and then see what i want because after all i am only 18 and in college? i just dont know please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso to celiaf:
i know i did the same thing, i guess this just seems so much worse because he lied to me about it for days and made me believe that i did something wrong where as i told him right away. not only that though, i mean we've been together for a year and a half and i know its not right but my feelings for him when i cheated on him werent even remotely close to the way we both feel about each other now, and i guess thats why it feel worse. but i understand that what i did was wrong which is why i think it was easier for me to forgive him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate on my situation:
today he came over to talk to me and we had a serious discussion about what were going to do now. i asked him if he was still in love with me and he said yes. and i asked him if he wanted to get back together and at first he said that he doesnt think that i should take him back and that he doesnt deserve me but i told him that i dont really care if he thinks he deserves me or not because either way i still want to be with him. i know it may sound pathetic to some people but i just want to forget about it and be with him still, i love him so much it hurts. he said that we should both be single for a while and go on a break and make sure that we seriously want to get back together, he also said that yes he does want to get back together with me eventually.
we did make some rules we said that if you really wanted to kiss someone then thats okay but no hardcore making out, nothing below the belt. etc. & i also said that he cant speak or be in contact in any way with this girl anymore.
Do you think he's serious about everything? im just really scared about being hurt again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): You did the very same thing...?
I could understand if you had been faithful to him and he'd done this to you, but you did the same thing? You realize that, right? =/ I get the impression that you don't. =/
He forgave you, shouldn't you be able to do the same? Why is this so different? =/
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