A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Things have been shaky with my current gf. We met over 2 years ago and went out for I think a month or two before I found out I was the boyfriend "on the side". I confronted her and told her to choose; she decided to dump the other guy. But I felt uncomfortable with the idea and broke it off a couple months.Several months later after some cooling off and just talking as friends, we decided to try the relationship again. We've also stopped drinking completely. The relationship has been steady since then (over 1 year). Overall things have been good and she has treated me well in return.My issues with her are that she has great trouble accepting generosity and has asked me to steal products for her from family. My family doesn't like her. She avoids any invitation from them. My friends are OK with her, but her friends aren't so sure about me. (I really believe she means no harm to anyone.)The biggest conflict is religion. We're both Christian. But we disagree on "church" and she's stopped going to my church after trying it for a few months. It's important for her to be with me spiritually, but I am not sure where to draw the line.Despite everything that's happened, I've grown to love her very much and feel somewhat confused. There's no way I could give you a complete picture from just a few paragraphs.... Are we just having some problems, or has this situation been doomed from the start? What sort of things can I do to help resolve the conflicts? Should one of us be in counseling?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): To explain the "product stealing" I mentioned....
She asked me to get her a specific gift. But she asked me to convince my mother to give it to "me" because my mom wouldn't give the gift to her if my mom knew who it was for. What did I do? I just went to the store and bought one. Wasn't that the right thing to do?
A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (11 November 2008):
 Dont get the whole "product stealing" issue...
Why do you need to steal products as opposed to just buying them at the store.
Sounds like you dont know her as well as you wish you did. Get to know her better as a person, and dont assume she is at the same place spiritually as you. Spirituality and religion are two different things. Spiritually you might be at the same place, but religiously, you might be far apart.
If you love her, you will accept her the way she is without trying to change her.
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