A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a type A personality, prone to general anxiety. I'm all-around awkward.Every time I have a first date, I worry about whether the guy is going to call me or not. I look up articles, I ask questions, I read other people's questions about this sort of thing and I read the answers.Every situation is different, but this is a general rule of thumb...He will contact you if he's interested. He might wait a few days, he might wait a week. He might contact you the next day. If you want to contact him, go ahead! I don't think it hurts your chances.If he doesn't contact you, then it does NOT mean that you are not beautiful, interesting, and awesome...it just means he doesn't feel like it, is lazy, or is not ready for more dates/commitment. Do you really want to get to know someone who's not willing to get to know you and put forth a minimal amount of effort? In case you're wondering, I'm going through this situation myself. I was super nervous but he was very nice (and hot) and gave me some good advice on a bunch of stuff. I let him know two (maybe it was three?) days after the fact that I had fun and that we should do something again...I put myself out there. If he doen't reciprocate, then I obviously can't force him and I don't want to waste my time on him. Take charge of your own destiny! Take pride in the fact that you're putting yourself out there. I did and that means I'm a little closer to finding what I want. Don't get me wrong, it would be great if he would reply. But this is one of the first times where I'm not too hung up on it. Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 October 2010):
Hi there. Sometimes it's ok to call a guy.
But perhaps not too early in a very new relationship. If you do, it makes a girl look needy and desperate, two things a guy doesn't like. It can also come across as slightly pushy - another no-no.
It's always good for a girl to be confident, but showing confidence in this way is a bit too demanding on a guy, trying to encourage him to ask you out and see you again.
It seems to remove some of their masculinity and most men don't really like it. It's agressive and not so feminine. Men really like women to be feminine in their ways. Hence the reason for the "no call" routine. It's a guy's way of letting you know it.
No matter how much you like a guy, after the first date, just let him come back to you. For you to make the next contact with him, even if it is to say you had a fantastic time and enjoyed their company, it's still seen by a guy as overbearing.
It's something a lot of women don't realize. Then they wonder why he doesn't call her again. Then they get all upset and disillusioned.
After a great time on a date, a guy needs time to process it all for a few days or a week, to see what he thinks about it all. If you both enjoyed yourselves in each other's company, there's a pretty good chance he will call you - in good time. You just can't push it.
The ball is then in his court.
A woman who is confident, independent and slightly unpredictable and knows herself and what she wants in life is very attractive to most men. Also to have her own life is another attractive thing. A woman who will accept only the best and nothing less, and refuses to be taken for granted or mistreated by anyone. These are very appealing attributes, indeed.
To call a man after a first date, also puts pressure on him to make you happy. He feels that pressure, because you make him responsible for making your happiness.
We are each responsible for our own happiness - no-one else. It is a choice. He can't make you happy, only you can.
|
