A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I am 24 years old,about 4 years ago I met a guy at a place I go to jog every morning..we clicked and we started dating,he met my family,friends..but its only later I found out that he was married and has a child I was shocked,I confronted him and he lied saying his marriage was dead,broken and he's divorcing his wife..I broke it off with him,he continued to harass me,asking me to give him another choice I lodged a police complaint against him!this experience has left me traumatised and brokenIts been a year and 5 months now,I met another guy but until I do a background check I'm scared to even date him!but I don't know how to?we don't have common friends,no same workplace,or social netwroking site(both of us aren't on fb) but I don't know now how to find out more about him!its hard for me to trust!I know I shouldn't doubt everyone but now I want to play it safe!how can I find out more about him?
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female
reader, malvern  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 I would suggest getting to know him as a friend before allowing any romance/sex into the friendship. See him several times but don't allow anything more than a quick kiss until you feel more comfortable about him. Ask lots of questions about his life etc. and you should start to get a 'feeling' about whether he's genuine. If he doesn't like the fact that you're holding back then he's not worth bothering with anyway. You may even be able to tell him why you're holding back. At least by doing it this way you won't feel as hurt if it doesn't work out. If he's worth it then he'll understand and will wait until you're ready.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (8 April 2013):
I can understand your situation and your problem with trust since your unhappy experience with you ex-boyfriend.First of all i would ask your boyfriend questions like where he grew up-if he has brothers sisters.are his parents alive and where do they live .Ask him to introduce you to some of his workmates.Workmates would in a general sense might know a lot about him.This can all be done in a CHATTY way.If you like a exchange of or filler in about each others family. You are wise to check. Best Luck Nora B,
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