A
female
age
,
*ollyett
writes:Two weeks ago I came home from work and my husband told me he was leaving me, he had met someone at work and had been seeing her for the previous six months , he had packed his bags while I was at work. We had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We had been to Florida with our grown up children. Over the last couple of years we have had some money problems, but I thought we were ok, I'm devastated as I love him and feel so betrayed. We met last night and he says he's happy but missing the family. He hasn't left me in a good money position, and says for now he will pay for everything. Should I try to rebuild my life somehow, as it seems he doesn't love or need me anymore, but something deep inside of me believes that he can't just wipe 25, mostly really happy years from his memories. Do you think it's over or might he come back.
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female
reader, Hollyett +, writes (11 October 2008):
Hollyett is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, at the moment im so lonely and unhappy that its hard to think of any future, particulary one on my own, im just getting through each day at the moment. I met him and he has offered to walk our dogs and cut the grass, then go home to her!. I politely declined that offer. Our children are 23 and 21 and at the moment will have nothing to do with him, he has text them asking for forgiveness and saying he didnt plan it, and that he misses his family. I miss my happy family, i missed all the signs, but they were so hard to see, we were all together at my sons encagement party, we have alovely photo of my husband and i. im so confused.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): I feel for you. My husband of 33 years found a girl on Friend Finder online and met her in Vegas 5 times pretending to be with his friends. Texting her and calling her for 6 months.
I finally found out from the cell phone bills and he says he wants to stay with me, but I'm not so sure. I don't want to be taken for a fool any longer.
We had what I thought was a great marriage and we own a restaurant together. I'm devastated!.
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A
female
reader, Islamee +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Hi,Well I am sure after 25 years you will be well aware of the 7 year itch! Men unfortunately, do mostly have them every 7 years or so. It may be he thought the grass was greener on the other side and when he sees that the grass over there is actually a mud bath he my come back with his tail between his legs? What you have to decide is, if that should happen could you pick up where you left off and see his betrayal as water under the bridge?Many a women could not forgive their man for such an act! A woman scorned and all that jazz!If you could then you should not come over to him as desperate, you are not desperate and you can live perfectly well without him in your life, but just remind him of the loving marriage you had and that the door to your house is always open. Keep him close as a friend if need be, men bore easily when they see it’s the same no mater where they are. He may come to his senses and return to you.On the other hand if you feel that this situation would be brought up and remembered in months and years to come, is it a good idea for him to return? In that case, I would advise you to leave the past behind you and look to the future. Kids are like a pillar when it comes to this kind of thing. I am in no doubt that if they are fully aware of the situation, then they will whole heartedly support your decision, what ever that may be.25 years is a long time but now you have to decide if you are going to live the next 25 years in the shadow of the man who hurt you, or as the woman you always wanted to be!I wish you all the best and may God give you the strength to overcome bad times!
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