A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have honestly had a dream come true!! Well kind of. Ive been in love with one of my best guy friends for near 2 yrs now, he knew i liked him however he only got told by other people. We were never allowed to be friends at college for some reason the rest of the group didnt like it. I always thought he liked me and so did other people. We left college last summer and we still see each other when he comes out with me and some of our mates, its just soemthing happened.. Hes always been weird around me, sometimes he wont talk to me other times hes normal with me. If we talk online i have to make the effort he doesnt always text back(to anyone) and once when we met alone he was so incdreible quiet it was unreal.He was meant to be coming out with us however when i asked him if he was still up for it he said he was sorry but he had to go out for a family meal and was pretty guttered. He text me later that night asking if we were out and so he came up, he said hey to the others and stuff but didnt say a word to me! Later on we started talking more, he knew the others wouldnt be staying long and he asked me if i;d like to go to this club after they had gone. This was a huge suprise to me as he never asks me to do anything. But we did the others left us in this pub and we started talking in there about anything and then we went on to this club. Which is where it all started.I previously in the night had took his phone off him to wind him up saying he was hiding something, and once we sat down(we were alone) i did it again. This time however he bent over and put his hand in my pocket to get mind, i kept fighting over it with him detemrined now to let him have it but he got it and alone with that i ended up on his knee. I cant remember if i got mine back off him but if i did i put it in my pocket and just sat there looking through his and the next thing i know he started cuddling me and i mean really cuddling me, he;d got hold of me from behind and just kept squeezing tighter and holding me closer so i just put my hand on his arm, at one point i felt his head in my hair but im not sure what that was, it could have just been he was looking around. A while later he put his hands in my pcokets to get my phone out again and started play fighting with me again to get it and to get his back, this continued, afewtimes he kept putting his hand on my leg and arm but we were just messing about and he kept cuddling and hugging me. Must have been about 20minutes later he tried to pick me up to get me of his knee and he stood up(with me) we were still playfighting and he took me outside. he said he was sorry for everything that went of at college and....(he never got to finish because a security guard told us to go back inside) He sat back down and pulled me onto his knee and just hugged me again. Afew minutes later he pulled me even closer and at some point grabbed hold of my hand and he said hes sorry for everything, im a good mate to him and.... - i never fully heard what he said after hat but he just had hold of my hand and looked at me and i said "i no" and hugged him really tight, and at that point he hugged me back so tightly he just wouldnt let go. Things carried on, the hugging, the fighting over the phones and generally just messing about, he also started bouncing me on his knee for some reason lol. He got up to go to the toilet and when he came back he sat on my knee and then got up and pulled me off the seat so he could sit down and pulled me back on his knee again...again it all continued. I got up to get him a drink and sat back on his knee, after that the cuddling dyed down and stopped but we still kept messing about and he kept wrapping his legs round mind, by this time we were both tired. He got up an said il be back in a minute and took his coat, came back a minute later and said come here and he'd found another seat(one of the big bench time ones so we sat next to each other. so we sat there. We just kept annoying each other and stuff, he got up once again and when he came back id got my head on the table because i was tired. He slightly hit me round the head nicely as if to say wake up i looked at him put my head back down and he got me in a head lock and was just messing about. We just sat there and then he moved up close to me but nothing hapened and when the pub closed we left.Now i really thought something was going to happen, it went to far to be just friends so do you think he really wanted it to?When we left i made the stupid mistake of asking why he was sorry now and not back then, we spoke about that and he said "i know no one wants me" and i sed yea they do and we spoke about soemthing else. When we left he just said dont let anything affect you!(meaning what others have said about us) and i made the stupid mistake of text him saying i wont let anything affect me i pormise and then i text him the next day to say that the others were up for going out next week as we had planned. I got no reply but then again he never replies to texts anyway. Im just hoping he didnt regret it the next day. Hes not a player at all, infact hes a pretty quiet shy guy in some situations even though he can be all big headed around mates. Hes really nice, would never use anyone, he got hurt a year ago by this girl as well and that really hurt him.(he was only confident with her because he;d got people encouraging him and she was all flirty with him, he found it hard to make the next move) I mean, its me, we've got the awkward history! He wouldnt do anything with me normally because he;d feel weird but all that felt so real and hes never that drunk that he just does things, he'd never do it anyway. And tbh when we were cudling and then he took me outsdie and he said what he did i just knew it was going to happen. A Part of me thinks it was just him trying to secure a good friendship after he said what he did to me about hes sorry and we good friends(and what ever he said after that, i never heard it) but it went to far to be friends, it was to much. Hes always been abit weird around me and sometimes shy. Do you think he really wanted me? or wanted it to happen but jsut didnt quite get enough courage for it? We're all going out again and my mate says if she see's anything she will try and help but i suppose i need to let him know i still want him. What do you think? Does he actually want me n hes abit to shy?
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