A
female
age
51-59,
*lwayshonest
writes: Recently I sent a text message to a woman that is a secretary at my fiance's company because I heard a voicemail on his phone from her. I check his emails and now he is angry because I embarrassed him and it was business. Reason being is after over 2 years I can't trust him because he lies to me alot and keeps things from me. I have never caught him cheating, but after all the lies and the personals ad he put in the same day we seperated for a short time using a photo I took of him at a happy moment in our relationship making it clear sex was a definate to these women and his collection of porn emailed from a friend of his I can't trust him. How bad am I for snooping and what should I do. I am normally a very strong, confident person, but this has made me very insecure in myself. I love him with all my heart, and he says he loves me but all of the things he has done to me I could have never done to him. Im even honest to him about my snooping and he says it's to the point he's sick of it. The thing is im sick of the lies. What should I do?
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female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (24 March 2007):
 I have to be blunt with this. It seems you two are headed for disaster. You know what type of guy he is... he's lied and wanted other women so either accept or move on. I know it's difficult but some people just cant help themselves. You are looking for a commited and honest relationship and he is just kind of whatever about it all. I think yo uwent a little too far involving his work in your snooping. Things like that mean thats it's gone too far. So you have 2 choices... talk to him about it if he is not willing to be a little more honest then either deal with it and stop snooping or leave. Because sneaking around isnt healthy, it's a miserable existence... trust me I've been there and all I can say is it's not fair to wither one of you. Learn to trust and let it go. He may have just been seeing what he could get (a little ego boost) when he posted that ad... or he may have been serious either way whats done is done... getting back with him denotes that you forgave him. Don't hold on to it. Enjoy the relationship now... because what your doing is only driving him further away and if you want to keep him around this isnt going to work. However realize it is a huge possiblilty that something like this will happen again but dont go looking for it hun... Good Luck I hope it was a one time things for him and he realizes he has someone who loves him and that you can learn to trust again.
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