A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Whwn my boyfriend and I started dating 2 years ago it was wonderful and we got along so well, but as time has passed it seems that he has either deliberately misled me or he's doing it without realising how it could be interpreted as misleading. He tells me things as if they were really great like he is just so good at golf and I went to watch him play and he wasn't at all. And that he is so well liked and known by everyone at his company but when we went to the company party hardly anyone spoke to us.He implied that he's financially comfortable but that is clearly not true. As time has gone by he puts things down to temporary setbacks but his situation doesn't improve. He moves out of his rental place and then lives with friends instead of getting another place saying he hasn't found exactly what he wants yet.I don't know if I should continue in the relationship because it seems that he is not all he says he is and I hardly know whether to believe anything he says anymore, and I don't know if I can rely on him or if I'll have to be vigilant all the time to keep myself from getting taken for a ride. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 December 2011):
 You can't trust this man. He sounds exactly like my lying ex. My ex would also tell me how popular he was, how many friends he's got, how much people love him. We were long distance so he could pretty much tell me anything he wanted. Then I went to visit him and he has just 1 friend. He said everyone else called him a liar (fitting huh?) and stopped being his friends all of a sudden. Then he talked about that ONE friend he had left as if this friend was some groupie that admired him and did his every bidding. After me and the guy broke up this last friend also ditched him after seeing what he was truly like.
My ex also told me he had a car, but the truth was it was his dads car.. it was just in his name for insurance benefits, but he had to ask permission to drive it.. He also lied about how well he was off financially, yet when I came to live with him I had to pay for the majority of everything and by the time we broke up he still owed me money that he didn't pay back and I wont ever see.
He also had excuses for everything, and high promises that things would be so great soon, because he would get a new job etc, and then that new job is poorly paid and he wasn't even honest about his salary, and things were still just as shitty financially. He lied about the cost of things. He lied about working out, and eating healthy. I discovered that when I moved in with him, he told me he ate healthy every day to lose weight, like salads etc, yet I never saw him eat ONE salad during 3 months. He told me he was working out, but the only time he went to the gym was when I dragged him there, and then he didn't even break a sweat because he said he just needed to "keep in shape" not build any muscle... (or lose any fat I suppose??).
This gets old. You can't trust the guy can you? You can't have a future with him not knowing what the truth about things are. You can't ever live with him because he is not being honest about his financial situation, and he isn't being honest about anything else in his life either. When I moved in with my lying ex he took financial advantage of me and fooled me over and over. I had to pay a lot more than he and I had originally agreed upon, not to mention all the money he borrowed from me in addition to the extra expenses I got thanks to his dishonesty.
If anyone can learn anything from my story: don't go there. Dump him before he fools you even more.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 December 2011):
 I would leave now if you can. My ex husband was like this...pretending to be things he was not because he had no self-esteem and thought that he was worthless.
what made it bad was not that he was worthless but that he had no self-esteem and he continued to lie about things...
it eroded the trust and once trust is gone there is no relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): you should definitely leave him. whether he's doing it to intentionally mislead you or if he's deluded and actually believes his lies, the truth is that he has a habit of not telling the truth or of exaggerating. I have a real problem with people who are chronic exaggerators because they are not truthful and if you make decisions or plans based on what they say you end up getting hurt and feel swindled.
he's got a pattern of doing this so you should leave him. you just can't trust anything he says.
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