A
female
age
41-50,
*merta
writes:I met my boyfriend 2 1/2 years ago and we spend so much time together (maybe too much sometimes) I always knew he wanted to move to Australia eventually as his bro lives out there and he wants to get his mum out there on permenant residancy so he needs to move there in order for this to happen. He told me a couple of months back that he is planning to go there in mid 2008 and when I asked if I could go with him as I too have family there and have no real ties here, he said that I would just be a responsibility for him and he wouldn't be able to sort his life out etc and he was not ready for that kind of committment! So now we are carrying on like nothing's wrong although the pain of knowing he's going to leave for good in a few months is eating me up inside...Just wanted some opinions on what I should maybe do?Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Omerta +, writes (3 January 2008):
Omerta is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks again :)
I should have realised he's not that bothered as i've been sick with flu for the last 2 days and haven't even had as much as a text or phone call from him to see how I am! :/
It's all very strange...I have decided to end it with him tomorrow as I know i'll just get hurt in the end if I don't do something right now...
A
female
reader, Omerta +, writes (2 January 2008):
Omerta is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Thanks for all the advice :)
We did sit down and have a chat about it the other day and he ended up calling me selfish for wanting him to dedicate half his life to me and not just be happy for him that he will be happier living in Oz with his bro...This whole relationship just feels like a joke & it's all on me at the end of the day :/ (And he wonders why I don't trust him!) I just found a post on one of his PC Forums saying he was moving to Oz in March 2008 and he just told me only a few days back that it would be some time in "mid 2008" but no definate dates yet! I can already see the lies unfolding before me. If I tell him i've seen his forum post, he'll just end up getting mad at me I guess and telling me I need to butt out of his private life :/
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A
female
reader, Omerta +, writes (2 January 2008):
Omerta is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Thanks for all the advice :)
We did sit down and have a chat about it the other day and he ended up calling me selfish for wanting him to dedicate half his life to me and not just be happy for him that he will be happier living in Oz with his bro...This whole relationship just feels like a joke & it's all on me at the end of the day :/ (And he wonders why I don't trust him!) I just found a post on one of his PC Forums saying he was moving to Oz in March 2008 and he just told me only a few days back that it would be some time in "mid 2008" but no definate dates yet! I can already see the lies unfolding before me. If I tell him i've seen his forum post, he'll just end up getting mad at me I guess and telling me I need to butt out of his private life :/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): Hi - I have posted a different question about emigrating out to Oz! I have just read yours and really feel for you. I have always known my boyfriend wanted to get out to Oz but he always said he wants me with him and it has been me that has been so confused. That is the stark contrast in your post which shocks me. I feel your boyfriend is putting getting his mother out there as the greatest priority. This is clearly to get the family together which, ok, is understandable but to then say you are too much trouble. What?! It seems really cold hearted of him - as if in am emergency situation he would trample on your head to escape a fire to save his own skin.(okay that maybe exagerrating but...) Mmmmmm. I think you have three options. The first is to ditch him now and his response will tell you a great deal about how he really feels about your relationship. The second is to plan your own move out there independent from his so that you can survive with or without him (job, house etc etc) and that way there is less emphasis on the relationship. If you want to go to Oz and you have no ties then this could be an option. The third is to become a little more distant from him now and then perhaps let him move away and plan to visit him soon after. This way you can test your relationship once and for all without the 'commitment' factor. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Wordsmith  +, writes (2 January 2008):
This guy has treated you terribly! Basically, he has led you on for 2 and a half years until he was able to fulfil his plans. You need to sit down with him and ask him whether or not he wants to be with you. If he still wants to go to Australia and leave you behind, then end the relationship now. Don't let him lead you on anymore honey. You are worth so much more than that.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (2 January 2008):
 If I was you, I would break it off now. If he's not committed to you after almost 3 years, he'll never be. He sounds selfish and arrogant, and you're better off without him.
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