A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in this tricky and difficult situation with my girlfriend. She has a toddler to a past relationship that was very messy, We have recently been living together along with my 8yr old daughter who I have every 2nd week. My girlfriend is head over heels in love with me but the feelings aren't mutual. We are great friends and our sex life is amazing but there is something unfortunately missing in the equation 'Love' from my side and this has been bothering me for quite sometime.I split from a 13yr relationship (my daughters mother) not even 2years ago and ventured headfirst into a new relationship/dating only 7 months after we split. I decided to pursue the relationship because this new person was so kind to me and my daughter. I really care for her and her son immensely but I'm not in love and it's been incredibly stressful and unfair on both parties. My girlfriend and I have discussed this many times but she still won't let me go,and is waiting for the magic love button to be engaged, but after 1.5years of seeing each other it's still hasn't happened? I feel this is unhealthy and want to end it even though I know she'll be devastated, I'm hurting as well but believe the correct thing to do is to end it. Do you agree? Any advice would be very much appreciated. Cheers Confused and conflicted.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 " she still won't let me go" why is this HER choice?'
if you want to leave you leave... you don't owe her anything... you are not married... granted it will be hard and confusing to the children but the longer you linger the worse it will be...
you need to man up and tell her that you need to move on.
it's hard and you will feel crummy because you care about her but you can't stay and settle...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): heres what i would do:
tell her straight away, than disappear from her life forever, no contact, no calls, no nothing. because this will hurt her, and it would be double painful if kept around after everything has been said.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Have you felt this way the whole 1.5yrs, and if you did, why did decide to live with her?
You have been having 'amazing sex' with her, so it could be interpreted that you have misled her (maybe even was using her) - you needed her as support after your split, and now you've healed, you want to move on. Did you ever even consider the children in all this?
This not fair on her. You need to tell her the truth about how you feel, don't delay it any longer. There is no 'right' time to tell someone you do not recipricate their feelings. It will be very painful for her to hear, especially now after living together, but, in the long run it will be more painful for her if you keep her hanging on. She is in love with you, she was there for you and supported you - it will take time for her to heal.
She deserves a Man who can appreciate her for who she is, and what she has to give, and who will love her back wholeheartedly.
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