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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: So why would someone be completely obsessed with their spouse for 10 years and not interested in anyone else on the planet, then all of the sudden start finding others sexually attractive and cheat on them a few times? What would make a person just change like that????And please, no well men this or women that. I've dated both and honestly I've found both sexes to be very similar in many ways. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): You have to be honest...It wasnt sudden, it never is...That kind of drastic change is hardly ever sudden...Take care to look back there was a whole lotta scribble on the wall..You just conditioned yourself to ignore them...Although most of the replies say it was brewing in his head...I can almost bet he showed some signs of drifting...You may not have paid attention or put it down to stress or whatever hussle was going on....Or you may have always been wearing those rose-tinted glasses that you refused to allow yourself see the truth...But i assure you it aint sudden!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): It isn't sudden, but something was going on in their head, for a long time, then they suddenly step over that line. That stepping over is a "sudden" act, even if the edging toward it takes 10 years.
Mental health issues, medications, alcohol, drugs, you name it, all can be involved.
Usually self esteem issues are a major factor, and people are vulnerable to cheat for many reasons.
People cheat instead of leaving their partner because of lots of things.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (12 February 2011):
probably things have been brewing inside your partner's head and/or heart during those 10 years just that you didn't know it. So when the issues get really deep and it leads to the cheating, you think the cheating came out of nowhere without any "reason" but actually there were probably subtle red flag signs going way back which maybe you attributed to other things.
another reason could be changes in brain chemistry (like if your partner suffered any head trauma, or maybe a brain tumor) that suppresses a person's ability to exert self-control or make decisions. Truly sudden changes in behavior (rather than simply deception that you weren't aware of all these years) could have neurological reasons...
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (12 February 2011):
 I dont believe it was all of a sudden.
Perhaps your seeing for the first time that your husband has always ben a cheater ? or perhaps he is looking for excitment sexually...who knows really with out all the facts. Sometimes relationships run thier course when it comes to intamacy... it all becomes Hum drum - routine habitual therefore people search for that passion thats missing, often people still love thier spouse but the adrenlin from a new partner / s strokes thier egos, there's nothing like forbidden lusty sex to make you feel alive inside again.
Has something major happened in his life recently? Lost his job, been a death in the family...sometimes a tragedy can cause people to go off the rails.
No Matter the reason I feel for you. Perhaps it time to question if its time to move on and start again.
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