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female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: I am fifteen and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I want a boyfriend.Two of my closer friends have had boyfriends; one has already broken up with hers, the other has been dating hers for months now (!!!). She is always talking to him, and in the past week or so, I have really been wanting someone like that, someone I can call at night and go out to dinner with all the time and joke around with, someone to make out at parties with. I'm not looking for anything too serious, but I still want something with someone.However, there are multiple things in the way of this:- I am not pretty. I'm tall, but I have braces, my hair is dull, my smile is awkward (thanks to the braces) and I need a lot of makeup to cover the acne on my cheeks.- I am slightly nerdy, clumsy and awkward- I have no way to meet boys. I go to a small international school in Europe (total of 30 kids per year). i know all the other boys around my age, am definitely not interested in any of them, none of them are interested in me, so I'm not going to meet my future boyfriend at school. on top of that, I don't speak my country's language very well.This will sound ridiculous, but I feel like my time to run around and have fun is running out because I am taking my IGCSEs in May and will be busy from January onwards, am doing the IB after that, and have so many plans- none of which include a boyfriend until I am ready to look for a serious partner - for after I graduate. How can meet a cute/ smart guy? And even if I do meet someone, how do I get together with him?
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female
reader, sb0828  +, writes (6 September 2017):
I too wanted a boyfriend when I was your age because all of my friends were getting in relationships, but I didn't *really* like anyone enough to date them and I didn't want to settle on a mediocre relationship. I ended up having my first serious relationship my freshman year of college and I think my decision to wait on getting a boyfriend I really liked was the best decision because I learned to appreciate what having feelings for someone means vs. just getting in a relationship to be in one!
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 September 2017):
 Also, most teens in relationships (particularly girls) end up doing worse in exams because of relationship drama.
You'll meet plenty of boys in college and can try dating when you're older.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 September 2017):
You don't want something serious? Context is important. Relationships should be "serious" at your age, in the sense that you shouldn't be in one for the sake of it (which is why you want one) and you should really like the person platonically. That said, they shouldn't be "serious" in the sense that you want to be together forever and have sexual contact or talk about marriage/babies/etc.You want a boyfriend because you want a friend to make out with, not because you actually have a crush on someone. It's normal to want, but not wise to look for a boyfriend in your early to mid teens. Everything you mentioned, except making out, can be done with friends - that's what you really need.Also, wanting a boyfriend "to make out with at parties" is silly and about presenting a show to your friends, not having a boyfriend because you like a boy. It also opens you up to heartache that you're not ready for.Accept this as fantasy, but don't try to find a boyfriend. You're looking for the wrong reasons.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 September 2017):
 OP Writes, " i know all the other boys around my age, am definitely not interested in any of them", and I "have so many plans- none of which include a boyfriend"
And " How can meet a cute/ smart guy? And even if I do meet someone, how do I get together with him?"
Well the answer to your question is that you need to get your head out of the clouds, and start recognizing all of the really wonderful people who are already in your life. You are chasing a fantasy, someone who probably doesn't exist. There is a fair chance that you aren't putting your best self out there every day. The boys who are available to you, you probably treat horribly (with contempt and disdain). You need to be the kind of person that the boy of your dreams would be interested in. (here is a hint, it's not about the braces and acne, it's the person you are inside)
The next thing after adjusting your expectations and attitude is, you will have to adjust your priorities. Most highly successful people do find time for relationships. Having someone to come home to gives them drive and purpose. A relationship is part of their plan. You can find time for a relationship in your plan.
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