A
female
age
36-40,
*iyama
writes:I have been with a guy for over a year now and we have been having sex the entire time we came together on the pretext of just sex on both parts it obviously escalated more due to our time together, well we have been using the pullout method and one thing i noticed when researching this particular method a lot off people saying things like how they help their guys finish once he pulls out by either hand job blow job breast whatever so my main question is my guy is always never fail already to that point once he pulls out is that how its supposed to be or is it like hes already started coming inside me but he just pulls out before he completes. I really need help with this im a older woman 26 but im not very sexually experienced so please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): We do not know why the OP is chooing this method, as she may have her reasons, but it is not fair to pile all Catholics on one pot, because of ignorant beliefs and generalizations.All Roman Catholics vary by country, it's funny but American Christians are more conservative about birth control, than South American (not incuding Mexico) Roman Catholics or other European Catholics (There is many places like Planned parenthood that are 100% free and sponsored on other mainly Catholic countries) and Sex ed is obligatory in schools from 5th grade on. Political Candidates do not preach "abstinence- only" birth control. So just because some do it, it does not mean everyone does. You notice this when you travel to other Catholic countries.Just because some Christians are conservative we do not compare them to speaker Pam Stenzel, do we?Pull out is not 100% effective, maybe to the OP it does not matter. Maybe the OP trusts her boyfriend, which is really risky as things such as STDs can be transmitted, or maybe she does not care. As I said the Christian pastor at our church swore by the temperature (rhythm method) and the pull out, there are other intricacies of it. I heard him say things such as, how it is important to PEE between one sexual intercourse and the next. It takes one loss of self control for you to become pregnant. I would like everyone else here, advice you to go find a method of birth control, and you should both consider getting tested fot STDs regularly if you choose to do this, someone gave you an excellent link to planned parenthood.I feel this young woman is not concerned with pregnancy or STDs part, but more with the FINISHING him off without "ruining the moment" , I would think a handjob, or a BJ (by you) would be great ways to finish it, or maybe he can be between your breats while you give him a blowjob, or you can use your hands and mouth simultaneously. As you say he starts to cum inside you and then quickly retreats (dangerous) maybe he should retreat before, and not let it get to that point (if maybe you are using pull out for another reason) Of course birth control, would be easier to deal with, than worrying about getting the timing right.If maybe you are allergic to latex or he is, please consider getting another kind of condoms such as lamb, skyn, or BAre (durex) and bareskin by trojan. (you can google for other brands) please know that there are alternatives out there if this is your reasoning for pulling out. (had a friend that pulled out because of her allergies to altex)Also, please if you are not on it already , please reaeach birth control, it is so much easier to deal with than a possible pregnancy.As well as you both getting tested for STDs, it is not a matter of trust, but a matter of health, please try to get tested ASAP!Best of luck to you.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 April 2013):
I hear a lot of people saying the pull out method doesn't work but it's been my primary method of birth control for about 4 years and has worked perfectly. The only times I've got my wife pregnant is when I didn't pull out. I also used it when in a long term relationship before marriage when I wasn't concerned about pregnancy. I can't consistently stay erect with a condom on and the pill wasn't working for her.
Although, I'm in a situation where having a baby wouldn't be a problem. In your case I'd definitely get birth control, because you should always assume that a baby is a possibility when having sex. So if you don't want to get pregnant you need to take more precautions than the pull out method.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): If i were you Id be worried that i hav been having unprotected sex for a year, and still havent got pregnant. Go to the GYN and get checked out. Not just for contraception.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): Lets put it this way... my husband and I used the "pullout method" for 5 years, and we have a 3 yr old and a 2yr old. I'm not saying that you can't perfect it but not everytime will be 100% accurate either. We also only were "trying" for the second, first one was a surprise. ( we weren't trying to get pregnant but we weren't trying not to either. ) it was fine for us either way.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Pulling out takes so much technique and so much self-control, and many guys when they ejaculate actually lock up for that split second too long. 40% of the ejaculate comes out that first squirt alone. If the guy is young, he lacks experience and control.
Condoms are the best, and the pullout method isn't a valid alternative, as you are at serious risk. This is the best protection against STI, and if you're simply FWB, a casual sex encounter can expose you to lots of incurable things.
You should also consider the pill as well. If your biggest worry is pregnancy, the pill offers the highest chance of success other than abstinence or surgical sterilization (vasectomy/tubes tied).
Not only that, but if you insist on the pullout method, you should have the morning-after pill onhand, even thought that isn't even 100% reliable either.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 April 2013):
 1.2 billion Roman Catholics can't be wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): I cannot belive that in this day and age people STILL think that pulling out is a method of contraception! It is not!OP a woman has a high risk of conceiving using the pulling out method. -Firstly there's the issue of a man getting carried away and actually ejaculating inside instead of pulling out, most men will promise on their mothers life not to cum inside and then ejaculate inside in the knowledge they can have all the pleasure but no problem walking away if a pregnancy occurs!- even if a man withdraws before penetration, semen leaks out of his penis throughout the intercourse. Usually the quantity is so tiny the neither the man nor the woman would notice that its happened. Although the risk of this pre-ejaculate fluid getting you pregnant is lower than a full ejaculation, it is still a risk. Bear in mind that it only takes one single sperm to fertalise the egg. All of the sperm that ends up inside a womans body during sex "swims" to where the egg is. It doesn't matter if there is six million sperm or half a dozen, they all end up in the same place with the first one at the egg causing a conception.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2013):
 It only takes one good ejaculation that gets away from him for him to deposit sperm right there at the entrance to your uterus, and for you to become pregnant.
Please please please go see your gynecologist and have a frank and honest discussion with her or him and get yourself some contraception. Anything is better than nothing, which is basically what you are doing here.
I have a site that may help you see what your options are: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm and here: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm Basically, one in four women who practice your current method will wind up pregnant, if not more, as you aren't really practicing fertility awareness based methods.
In addition, has he been tested for STIs? Have you? I expect not. Go, go make that phone call now and get control of your own health and well-being. No one else is going to do that for you, okay?
It's time for you to become your own sexual health advocate. Put on the big girl panties and be brave.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Please use a male condom or female condom. You are risking pregnancy, HIV and other STD's. YOU are old enough to know better! Read up on male ejaculation, and you will learn that prior to ejaculation, males can drip pre-cum long before penetration. In other words, active sperm can be delivered as soon as he penetrates you.
He can infect you with an STD at the entrance of the vagina (vulva) just by depositing seminal fluid at the opening.
There is a false presumption that HIV is just a gay disease and that only homosexuals pass STD's having unprotected sex.
Get tested together and practice scientifically recommended birth-control methods.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Do you know what we call folks who rely on withdrawal (the pullout method) for birth control?
We call them: PARENTS.
if he has started to ejaculate inside of you then he might as well stay in you and finish..
you are VERY lucky you are not pregnant.
get to a gyn and get some birth control.
and both of you should be tested for STDs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): It won't stop pregnancy, so don't do it for that reason. Some people like to do it so it's easier to clean up after, or because they like to cum on their girlfriend, or loads of different reasons. Just don't do it as contraception, IT DOESN'T WORK (very well anyway).
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