A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes:Hey all,So I met this girl over the summer and have been seeing her for about two months now. She is amazing. She has made me happier than i have ever imagined. I almost didn't go back to school because of her. I just have a few questions and would like your opinion on it. First off, all my friends have asked me if we have had sex, or given me advice i didn't ask for on how and when to do it. I tell them we are not sexual like that, we hold hands and hug and give each other a kiss, but we both don't really see the need to jump each others bones. We are happy where we are. She is still very innocent, and I like it being slow because my last relationship was to fast and if you have read my other posts you know what I am talking about. They think this is weird. They say that we should really be thinking about it at least and even maybe have talked about it. Do you guys think its weird that we don't fool around with each other? And why or why not? I figure that it will happen when it will happen. I mean I have thought about it, but the happiness she brings gives me overpowers any lusting urges. Second. I go to college 6 hours from her and home. I really want her to visit, but realize its a long trip to ask of her. I go home every so often to see her. But her coming here would mean her staying in my single room, or getting a hotel. I think it would be fine if she slept in my bed and I took my couch since im not sure if she would want to share a bed. Would it be inappropriate for her to come visit and stay in my room only 2 months in?Third. Touching on the last question. I do have one desire involving her. It is not sexual. I feel so much for her and feel so connected to her that if she did visit I would want to sleep with her, assuming she was ok with it. Im not talking about sleeping with her like sex, but actually sleeping with her. I want to hold her in my arms and have her be so comfortable and safe feeling there that she can fall asleep. To me, being trusted so much that she will lay there with me and let me hold her is as deep and physical connection as sex. So if she came to visit and stayed here with me, do u think I should see if she would share my bed? How would I go about this? Is this a weird desire? Fourth. I keep stopping myself from telling her I love her. I have said it before to my last girlfriend who i was way to involved with. I thought I meant it then, but I know I didn't. The way i feel about my current is totally different. It feels more real. It feels honest and true. Do you think I should give it more time before I let those 3 words out, or should I wait till she says/signals it? She sometimes text's me little hearts. Keep in mind that we are 2 month sin, im going home for a long weekend this weekend to go apple picking with her. But she would most likely not visit till November or maybe even February. We both live with our families so he visiting would be the only chance to be intimate at any level. Also remember I am not talking about sex.Thank you guys/gals for all your advice. This site has helped me a lot.
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male
reader, ch1p01 +, writes (26 September 2011):
ch1p01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you! Im glad someone thinks the same way I do. I actually find myself explaining to my friends who are trying to jump into bed early in their relationships how it could get messy rather than closer if they do it to early. They don't get that they don't really know if they work well with that person yet. I have done the whole rush through a relationship thing where we jumped in bed the second day, and didn't last long and it fall apart hard and left a long messy trail. I have made my share of bad decisions, but know I have a new chance and i just want to do it all right and forget my past. With her I can. I am still curious though as to what others think about my questions. And why they think that.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 September 2011):
 What an absolutely delightful post! It is reassuring to know there are young fellows such as yourself out there. We get so many ugly posts about guys acting badly, it's nice to hear from one who has his priorities straight. Ignore your friends and their rather personal questions, you are very smart to hold off on the sex until you both are ready for it, "it will happen when it will happen"...wise words indeed. You can always ask if she would like to come visit you, but make sure you tell her she gets the bed and you will sleep on the couch. If she does come for a visit, you can ask her if she would feel comfortable about just sleeping together. As far as the 3 little words, I'd just hold off awhile. I think you are doing everything just right and I certainly wish you and your girl the best of luck.
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