A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Advice on Las Vegas Trip Please. My wife and I have been marrid 10 years and have always worked together as a team. With children we agreed to go down to 1 income so she could stay at home. . . now being on 1 income money is tight. Last fall we discussed taking a trip together for our 10 year anniversary yet agreed to wait and see how the tax return was. At the start of this year my wife who likes to go out around once a week to get a way from the kids, asked if she could go to Las Vegas with her girlfriend, who she likes to go out with. I said and I quote "Sure, why not." Very Sarcastically. I had to go and hung up the phone, laughing saying to myself unbelieveable. . . thinking is she serious? She has always been good with money and with a recent trip to the hospital and a 3,000+ bill I did not think anything of it. Well, I got home and we went out to dinner with another couple, the following night I had a meeting, and Friday afternoon I answered the phone with her girlfriend saying she ordered the tickets. Suffice it to say there was a argument over whether she should be allowed to go. . . .She says she works hard, deserves it, and asked. . . I say if anyone were to ask me I would have said no my wife and I need time away and fincancially we just can't do it. A close friend gave me this advice. . .He blamed it on a communication problem and said the ticket is $200.00 she wants $400.00 more - take the loss of the ticket and gamble the $400.00 on a weekend away together. . . In the end it will do us BOTH good, and move on. . . .What Do You Think? Should she go? Why was there not a followup talk. . .it's more of an economic issue than a girls weekend away issue. . .Let me know.
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (19 March 2009):
 Well, she did ask you, sarcastic reply or not.
I think you just need to alter your couples weekend for this year. Let her go to Vegas, it's already been done. And then you take a guys weekend sometime, camping, fishing, whatever you guys like to do.
But sit down and have a straight up talk with her about your finances. Yes, I am sure she works hard and is a good mother, but you work hard to be the bread winner. You deserve a vacation as much as she does. Let her know that because of this Vegas trip, there will be no couples vacation, you just can't afford it. Give her whatever her half of your trip together would have cost, and let her gamble that away. Then you can use your half of your budget to go out with the guys.
Suggest to her though that if this is the lifestyle she would like to live, then maybe she could pick up a part time job to help with finances so that you two don't have to decide between time together in the future.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 March 2009):
Well she's not psychic!
If she rings up and says "Can I go?" and you say "yeah, ok" and then when the tickets arrive you throw a fit... How is she supposed to feel.
If her friend has paid for tickets on the understanding that she will be paid back then she needs to get the money. That means you either find another friend to take your wife's place, or you have to let your wife go and have fun.
Yes it was silly of her to assume that you would be able to afford both trips but hey, that's why she rang and asked you!
The other option is that she gets a job one day a week and then you can afford some luxuries.
Good Luck!! xx
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