A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am in a relationship with a wonderful man but the problem is he is friends with an ex fiance of his and am having a big problem with this,I am very much in love with him, I just feel horribly jealous because they were together for a long time and I am jealous of their bond. Please help! Any advice about how to deal with my feelings about this would be very welcome.Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Hi,
Thanks for answering.
He is honest about their contact and doesnt hide anything, its not too frequent, its just hard to be comfortable with their friendship as they were so close once and intimate of course too. I dont know why they have stayed friends, I guess they got along well. They dont really meet up much but I am not there during calls.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Are you sure you got the right word: "jealousy"? How about the real one: "hurt". Your true love expends resources to someone he is attracted to. I'm assuming he was attracted to her during courtship, therefore, he is still attracted to her. That is not cool. And they get along right now; so the combination of a good history with a good active friendship is actually a threat to your relationship with him.
Perhaps if you hung out with a man you once were engaged and attracted to he would have strong feelings about it. On the other hand, if he wouldn't care you do that and is still committed to you and loves you, you just may have no problem at all, for how he perceives the reverse situation shows what's really going on with his "friendship" with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Ooh this is a tough one. Why are they still in contact/friends? Do they ever meet up with you or without you? Does he show you the texts they may send or are you around when he is on the phone to her?
Personally, if he is being completely honest and open with you about everything you are just going to have to learn to trust both of them. Remember, they broke up for a reason and he is with you now. Hopefully, he is understanding about how you feel and you are able to talk to one another about the situation. Chin up xx
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