A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 24 and been with my boyfriend for 7 years , we have a child together, 4 years ago i had an affair and i recently decided to tell him, we are working through it even though i hurt him alot, i have also done other things with 2 people not full sex but i give them oral,and that was years ago too i am still riggled with guilt but i know that i cant tell him because i ve hurt him so muh already please help i am making myself ill by what i have done in the past when i am a different person now and hate the old me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): ask eve is spot on there. just split with a deeply loved ,tho not long, lady last week because ''she wanted to be honest'' not going into details but lets just say some things should be left in the past- humans being such can find it hard not too judge- honesty is always NOT the best policy. learning, evolving and talking to the right-non emotionally involved- people is.forgive yourself,move on from your past. your boyfriend may well not if you tell him to make yourself feel better- thats what i believe my now ex was doing. i never recovered as i knew the crud of a guy.
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (31 January 2007):
If you beleive your a diffrent person, then just let go of the past and who you were. Tell yourself that it was a mistake and telling him could ruin everything. Just leave the past where it is. As long as these things ment nothing to you. Just forget it. We all make stupid mistakes. Telling him might make him think you WANT to hurt him.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 What's over is over. You can't change the past and there is no sense beating yourself up about it. You admit to being a different person. Look forward, not backward.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Some things are better just forgotten about, left in the past where they belong. Why are you raking all this up now? To rid yourself of guilt and make YOU feel better thereby hurting the man you love in the process?
Bury it love, we all do things we're not proud of. You love this man and you've told him about your affair. Leave it at that. If you want to get rid of the guilt feelings then go to confession and deal with it that way. Telling your boyfriend to make YOU feel better is not only silly but selfish. Concentrate on what you have NOW! That's what matters.
You are older and wiser now and the very fact you feel remorse for what you did in the past is enough so my advice to you would be to forget about it and just love your boyfriend for the wonderful person that he is.
Eve
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