A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in Love and have been together almost 10 months now. He is two years older than me. We are both virgins. Although we have experimented with each other (which makes us less of virgins) neither of us have had actual vaginal sex.I know that we will probably not be together forever, but we are **talking about** having sex.I am on the pill, but I dont want my first time to be with a condom, I understand they don't feel so awesome. SO yes, I realise we will have to get tested for STDs and HIV, something we *have* talked about. We realise that we're both virgins and some people would think it unnecessary, but some stuff can be passed genetically and HIV doesnt just come from sex. We also dont have anything other than the other persons word that we're both virgins, so we're being cautious. But we realise the pill is not 100% effective against pregnancy.Speaking hypothetically if the tests come back that we're both clean what could we use as secondary protection against *pregnancy*? I.e. if STDs and HIV are not a concern.I understand the pill (and how precise and careful one has to be), male and female condoms, IDU, spermicide... And know them in depth. But I dont want to make a bad choice because the pharmaceutical companies twisted test results.1) what does usig a condom feel like - guys and girls?2) what can be combined with the pill that isnt a condom? What are REAL risks and side effects?3) I know that its not good for a girl to use the morning after pill often but can it be combined with the pill? One night only?4) How difficult is it to get this stuff. I know how easy it is to get condoms... And that the pill requires a prescription, but what about the rest? Esp availability in South Africa.Thanks for all your advice and help
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both virgins, condom, hiv , sperm, std, the pill, vagina Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 1. Using a condom is not so much fun because it creates a barrier.. it's not so intimate and you don't get to feel the heat from your two sex organs touching.
2. Pill taken properly and a spermicide should help prevent pregnancy. But all contraceptives are only reliable up to a maximum of 98%. The only guarantee against pregnancy is no sexual intercourse.
3. Yes, you can take the morning after pill as well as the contraceptive pill.. But there is no need to do this, it will flood your body with too many chemicals and really is not necessary.
4. No information on South Africa.. but spermicides are sold where condoms are sold.
If you are both virgins, and have both been tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and you are on the contraceptive pill and taking it properly for at least two months before you have sex, then you should both be alright.
Spermicides give another layer of protection, just like condoms do, but condoms use is mainly to prevent sexual disease. You could also ask him to pull out before he climaxes, again, just another added procaution, but will stop most of the sperm being able to ferterlize your eggs..
If you are so worried about getting pregnant, perhaps you should not have sex untill you are a little older and more financially stable. You can continue having sex without penetration and then there's no worry about babies at all.
All contraceptions, even when used together, can only guarantee 98-99%... sorry
4.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): well, condoms are fine as long as they fit right. if you have airbubbles and it's too big and stuff then it'll feel really weird and the condom will break. i really dont know much about the morning after pill or anything like spermicide :O sounds kinda dangerous to me. but what you can do is talk to you gyn (if you have one) and find solutions that work best for you. doc knows best they always say.
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