A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is making my life a living hell, and I just can´t bear it anymore.My acne scars are so severe, that I look disfigured. I saw some photos today and the scars are so prominent that I look as if I´ve been attacked with a knife. I called my mom, crying, because I was so upset. She blamed the bad lighting, but there were other girls in the photo and they ALL looked perfect. How do you explain that?I´ve been very sad lately because I would like to have a boyfriend, but I can´t imagine anyone ever being attracted to me. It´s not just a light flaw or two... my face resembles hamburger meat.Please, someone tell me how to get rid of these scars... I would never commit suicide but I´m so sad that I´m beginning to feel like I´m going to die of a broken heart. I see couples everywhere I go, and I feel like a hypocrite wishing that a handsome guy would take interest in me. Why would anyone want me, like this?Please answer me only if you can tell me how to get rid of this problem. I don´t care if the cure involves shortening my life by ten years, I just want to look like other girls and have soft, smooth skin like everyone else.How can I deal with longing for a boyfriend? With all the girls out there who look perfect, why would ANYONE want a girl like me, with a disfigured face? I cringe at my own reflection in the mirror. Going to counseling won´t help... I´m reacting to this the way anyone would.... the scars are ruining my life.
View related questions:
acne Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): a href="http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Secret-Of-Removing-Pimples/"how to get rid of pimples/a
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I empathize and sympathize with you. But don't lose hope, there are solutions out there. For instance, here are the following treatments available that I appreciated at a renowned dermatologist office:
1. Fractional CO2 Laser Resurfacing (Expensive yet effective)
2. Derma Roller (At home treatment)
3. Oxy On-spot Benzoyl Peroxide 10%
Invest in yourself, because I'm sure you're well worth the investment. You'll notice a dramatic differences in time. Have patience and never give up!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): satin desire: you have issues, going on a website like this and putting people down. once day life's going to give you something, and hopefully you don't get treated the way your treating this poor girl here.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Sounds like you just needed to vent and I completely understand. I have extreme acne scars. Unlesssomeone has scars, they couldn't possibly understand.Hang in there! I'm not going to lie, it is very toughto be able to look at your reflection in the mirrorbut try to look into the beautiful soul behind the flesh.I don't know you, but I understand yourpain.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Hello,
I first want you to know that I completely empathize. I am 29, male, and have very severe scarring from acne for the past 9 years. I also understand that it is much harder for women than it is for men, but please know that my scars also cause me a great deal of suffering. In fact, after just looking at some photographs of myself, I went into bit of a panic attack which explains why I am on this forum now.
The first thing I want to say is that you should not separate your emotional healing with your physical (scar) healing. They are not mutually exclusive, and the good news, there is help in both categories.
I have been following a scar treatment forum on acne.org for the past few years, and just as recently as this year, there has been a development in stem cell treatment for scars. essentially they extract stem cells from your stomach and inject them into your scars. This is a far less invasive than laser treatment, which in my view don't work, and the results are permanent. There are photos and a few testimonials out there where people claim 90% improvement. But again, since this is a relatively new procedure, there is not that much documentation. I am in the US, but there have been good comments about Dr. Amer Kahn in London, UK. On his website, the cost of the procedure is roughly 10K USD so it's quite an investment. For me, I am waiting to see a little more documentation about this procedure before I pursue it, but nonetheless, this news has given me more optimism than I have had in years.
As for the emotional aspect of it, this may be hard to admit, but you may be traumatized by your experiences, and people sometimes project there insecurity and trauma on their scars. I understand the scars are a big part of the problem (my scars still give me panic attacks), but with the help of counseling, you may find that the life problems that you project onto your scars may be a bit out of scale.
Best of luck. It's a new decade!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Scarring is hard to treat. Don't try the creams,lotions and home remedies people tell you on the internet as you may end up with even more tereble skin. Finding a good and caring dermatologist is very difficult. I never found one. I've had dermabrasion,chemical peels and fraxel laser done and the results are zero. I never knew my life would turn out this way. Unlike you i don't want a girlfriend, i only want my face back which i just can't seem to. But that doesn't mean you will never have clear skin. Everybody's skin is different. If you have acne breakouts get rid of them first and then the scarring. Try and find a good dermatologist and the right treatment. Focus on clear skin, not the boyfriend
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): I know how u feel, I feel the same way. Just remember u r not the only one that feels this way, and to do something that makes you happy with your life, such as helping others. God Bless u, happy holidays, and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): I want to give you advice. I had acne since I was 14, now im 44. I, like you, always envied others with beautiful skin. But there has to be a another way of dealing with your problem. I started using glicolic acid for my face and in about a month and a half my face started clearing. Considering they use to call me moon crater in school. Why don't you read more about how glicolic acid can help you.
And also this is for satindesire, you are mean and I don't think you are going to be a very good Psychologist. You are cold and insensitive. You are stupit if you think you are going to be a Psychologist and your clients will not come to you with the same problem many times. What are you going to do them, be as cruel as you are with this young girl? I feel sorry for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Most of these answers were kind, and helpful, and I wanted to say thank you.Satin, how can you say that you know I have posted a similar question before?I don´t read the posts every day, but with all the billions of people out there, I doubt I´m the only anonymous person with this problem. Everyone I MEET looks perfect, but someone else could easily have posted a similar question. I don´t expect sympathy from people who have husbands to love them and spoil them, like I see you have. You have a pet peeve about multiple posts. Fine. Just don´t answer the question, it isn´t hard! I live in a free country, too, and we have free speech. Furthermore, the way you worded your answer is just insulting, i do understand English (and a few other languages)... You seem to have a loving husband and you´re not in a position to judge those of us who aren´t as fortunate. If you don´t like to read my questions, go spend time with that husband you claim is so great,.Most of this advice is good... I would like to talk to a counselor, but unfortunately money is a problem. Therapy is really expensive and I just don´t have the money!As for a dermatologist, I went to one and she SUCKED... she just said that ´´there´s nothing we can do for you.`` She was really cold about this, she acted like she was too busy to be bothered with me. I mean, my feelings are really vulnerable, I was depressed becuase I was scared no one would ever want to marry me.I am definitely going to get a second opinion, because she wasn´t any good. Not because I didn´t get the answer I wanted, she was just cold and unprofessional and didn´t seem to care about my problems or my feelings. Her attitude made me question her competency. She was stupid, and a bitch: ´´I can´t be bothered with your problems, I have more important patients,´´ she didn´t say this but may as well have. i understand that the people on this site aren´t doctors, but I had such bad luck with the last derm. If I can find a comptetent dermatologist, and he´s more expensive, I don´t care... I´d go without eating to get rid of these scars, I just want them gone! Thanks everyone that had suggestions for treatments! My dermatologist acted like she´d never heard of these things... she is stupid... I hope I have better luck with someone else.I live in a crummy town but in my state there are loads of teaching hospitals, I will just have to save my $$$ and go to one of them.Anyway... thanks... I´m not so depressed now.I swear I´d never kill myself, by the way.I just feel lonely sometimes... I understand that not all men are pigs, but I just worry about not being able to compete. If you look at a photograph of me, the scars are the first thing you notice... they look like little river beds... it´s horrid.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Go to the doctors and see what they can do. They'll probably send you to a dermatologist. In the mean time, rub bio oil on your scars- it's supposed to help. I had some small scars and it just makes your skin look a bit healthier. I wish you all the very best of luck and don't worry- you'll get a boyfriend soon! If they truly love you they'll see beyond the scars and see your soul. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): "With all the girls out there who look perfect, why would ANYONE want a girl like me, with a disfigured face?"
Get real. Men are not pigs that can't see past looks. Sure there are some, but you wouldn't want those pigs anyway.
Go see your doctor and have him refer a skin-specialist to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Have you seen a dermatologist? It's amazing what they can do these days. Dermabrasion I think it's called.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Two things. One, we aren't doctors. Yes we can give you the basics, like rubbing vitamin E on can help, but you need to go to a dermatologist. This sounds like a big deal to you and you should go to the best to get it fixed. A derm really can help, that's what they're for. Your skin. You'll probably need something prescription to make any sort of change. Two, your last sentence, "going to counseling won't help...I'm reacting to this the way anyone would." That's exactly what counseling is for! It's not for abnormal people, it's for normal people dealing with normal (and abnormal things). People all grieve losses similarly don't they? But that doesn't make them any less helped by counseling. They really can help you work through this. I'm very concerned that you mentioned suicide over this. Even though you said you wouldn't do it, it's extremely concerning that the thought would even come into your head! If that thought ever does pop up again, please visit the suicide hotline. They can anonymously help you. I'm sure your face isn't "like hamburger meat" to everyone else. Things always look worse to us than other people, I bet you're a beautiful girl who has some acne scars. My boyfriend has acne scars and I still think he's incredibly gorgeous as do others. You'll get through this.
...............................
|
