Abusive drunk father, living next door, support needed please!

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. Well my question isn't about relationships, at least. Not with a boyfriend. My family is a complete mess. I'm 14 years old, I have a brother aged 16 and another who is 23 - they both still live at home with me and my Mum. I also have an older sister who lives near to us. Well, my Dad doesn't live with us but he does live next door, with my grandparents, his Mother and Father. He works nightshift as a taxi driver and goes to work at round about 7-8 at night. He comes into our house and says goodbye but he never talks to any of us. He used to be a drug addict when I was younger and he is an alchoholic. He has been for the past 4 years or so, at first he did used to drink a few cans a week but now he drinks a 70cl bottle of whiskey every morning and he gets violent and nasty when he drinks. You see, when he comes home from work, at round about midnight or a bit later he comes into our house because he goes on our laptop. He smokes 3 packs of tabs a day and he's in more than 10 thousand pounds debt. He never talks to any of us. He is the father to me and my 16-year old brother, just call him M. But then my older brother S has a different Dad and so does my sister. My Mum got together with my Dad when S was two so he calls him Dad and always has. But then when my Dad started drinking heavily he started accusing S of things such as taking money and lying to him all the time. My Dad also has another daughter, K who he was forced to stop seeing when she was 3. He always has been upset about this but she turned 18 over a year ago and he has always had the hope now she can do as she pleases she'll get in touch. My Dad is on facebook and he looked her up, and found her. She looks exactly like him and they've started talking a lot. This tiny fact does upset me because he never speaks to me, the daughter he's always had around. I've been diagnosed with ME and CPS recently but I have been back a forth in hospitals ever since June last year. I have stayed in hospital a lot but he never once visited me. All of my friends and people from my school have but he always claimed he had to work, even though he works nightshift he claimed he needed the sleep. He sleeps for 12-13 hours a day but he never once bothered visiting me. He never drove me to appointments, my Mum can't drive but he can. And so can my brother, S. Even though he works 10 hours a day as a mechanic and he also fixes his friends cars afterwards. And yet he turned down a whole bunch of jobs that would help pay back his student loan so he could always come visit me every day. So all of this has upset me but then this morning my Dad was drunk beyond imagination again and he went upstairs to the room my brothers share. He started shouting about some pointless reason but my Mum managed to get him out to nextdoor where he sleeps. He went but then came back 15 minutes later. Now he was really arguing but when he started calling my Mum all the worst names under the Sun S began to get annoyed. He takes a lot to get angry but when he does he goes beserk, even though this is so rare. My Mum was trying to make him go down the stairs but then he grabbed her by the throat and flung her down the stairs. My brother snapped, grabbing my father by the neck and punching him. By this time my Mum had managed to get up and she went and put herself between my brother and Dad, knowing that he had went too far. S never thinks of the consequnces when he gets this angry and I had never seen him this angry. My Dad went down on his knees but my brother managed to get a couple punches in, although my Dad would have been knocked unconcious if it wasn't for the fact that my Mum was in the way. Me and my brother ran to them where they were on the hallway, next to the stairs. My brother had one arm around my Dads neck, so my and my brother and my Mum were trying to get him off because he was so angry. By this time my Grandmother had heard all of it so she came running in, trying to get my Dad off the floor. My grandma is one of the most horrible people I know, as is my grandfather. My grandmother was screaming about how she would phone the police on my brother. My Dad was screaming and shouting at us, spitting and punching at anyone. We managed to wrestle S away from my Dad and we got the oppurtunity to push my Dad away. He jumped up, grabbed a heavy bronze statue and started flailing it around. He was talking about how S was never to call him Dad again, he wasn't his son and he was disgusted that he had let him in the first place. My brother was trying to get at him the whole time and he told my father it didn't matter, that he hated him in anyways. He said how he was the worst mistake my Mum had ever made. My Dad then started saying how he was his son, and how he had brought him up, treat him like his own son. My brother told him not to call him son, if he wasn't his Dad then he wasn't his son. My Dad started snarling and flinging insults at all of us. My Dad slapped my brother, M, not S and he pushed me away. This only made S ten times worse. In the end we managed to get my Dad out of the house and we called my sister who said she was coming down. My grandma was outside screaming how she was going to get the Social onto us and have S locked away. She kept going on about how she hated us all and that my Mum would never see us again. My sister came running down and when she turned the corner to out street she saw my Dad and Grandma and she told them to get in the house (my grandmothers). We got my sister in and we managed to calm my brother down who was now crying and shaking with rage. He hugged me for ages. We saw my father out the window and he stuck two fingers up at me. Now he keeps sending texts saying how he's going to get the police on us and it all came about just because he was right and was telling the truth. He went on about how he and my brother M would be alright but I was such a little b*tch he never wanted to see me again. I'm confused about all of this. I feel sick that he was my father but in a way I feel awful.

View related questions: debt, drunk, facebook, fiance, grandmother, money, smokes, text, violent

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