A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for the last 12 years. My fiancé and I have one child together. My fiancé has recently asked me to marry him and I said yes because I feel like that we should be married and thats what the next step is. For a long time I have felt like I have just settled and wondered if there is something else out there for me and someone. I know that I love him but I don't know if im "in love" with him. I don't get that feeling of a spark being there or butterflies in my stomach. We get along great and he is pretty much my bestfriend but is that enough? I am going to get married and then still feel like this for the rest of my life wondering?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): If you are looking for butterfliesin your dtomack, then never marry. Change partners all the time, and butterflies will be there for a month or 2.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): I got married after being engaged for 15years, and I remember saying this all too soon, when he asked me again to get married haha.It's easy enough to get stuck in a rut, to not remember the sparks and connection that once drew us to someone especial if there has been a long lapse like your 12 years together.. But though you yearn for the greener pastor I have to say that all you will get will be just grass.. Before you jump and say right no I don't love you.. Try and recapture the begin of your relationships have date nights, get him to flirty text you.. Met in a bar and pretend to not know each other then discover things that maybe you have both over looked due to work home and life ..Be sure before you decided this isn't for you.. Because every action causes a reaction and you may find out the grass isn't greener and he has moved on.. It happened to a friend of mine.. She wanted out the relationship only to realise a few months down the line she wanted him back,, but he had changed .So be careful sweetie what you long for.. Sometimes we should find happiness in what we have..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Its easy to love someting, but if you are not "IN" love then dont take this step. You might regret it. and you both dont wont to be miserable with each other. If you dont feel that spark or the butterflies then yes dont go through it cause its not gonna change once your married. If you dont feel it now you'll never fill it afterwards. Plus you say he's a more of a bestfriend and that means thats all he is meant to be. WAIT! cause this is a big step. If he loves you he will understand but if he gets angry or upset its just not meant to be. I hope this helps :)
p.s. hang in there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Its easy to love someting, but if you are not "IN" love then dont take this step. You might regret it. and you both dont wont to be miserable with each other. If you dont feel that spark or the butterflies then yes dont go through it cause its not gonna change once your married. If you dont feel it now you'll never fill it afterwards. Plus you say he's a more of a bestfriend and that means thats all he is meant to be. WAIT! cause this is a big step. If he loves you he will understand but if he gets angry or upset its just not meant to be. I hope this helps :) p.s. hang in there.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Hi
Can you imagine your life without him in it? Ask yourself how you would feel if he wasn't around.
Its natural to have doubts before a wedding,everyone does but it is not fair to marry a man you don't love as the future will only bring heartache.Be certain its what you want before you walk up the aisle.He might be feeling the same but you two have lasted this long.Talk to him.
What made you decide to marry after 12 years together?
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