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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 20 and he is 32.Me and my boyfriend have been off and on for a year and a half. We met at work and he says he felt in love with me the first time he saw me. He knew he wanted to marry me. Then I told him that I was a virgin and wanted to wait until I got married and asked him if him if he would wait for me and he said yes.Now it's 15 months later and he acts completly different. He almost acts like he hates me, he doesn't call anymore,he never wants to go out and the other day he told me he's not getting married until he has sex with me. But if I try to break up with him he'll get upset and keep calling to see if I met someone else. I love him very much and I don't want to let him go.
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male
reader, MitchellTurner +, writes (12 October 2005):
Let him go. This "gotta have it or else" thing is just a trick. A form of manipulation. Do not give in, or you may spend a very long time giving in to other people manipulation. Now, i will have to say, in all honesty, I myself would rather not marry a woman i have not had sex with, but for one reason. I want to tase the milk and make sure it's not sour, before i buy it. If you get what i'm tryhing to say. However, i would not tell a woman i would not marry her if she didn't, especially after agreeing to such. It's manipulation. Nothing but. Never will be anything else but.
Your only reprieve from breaking up is this: stand your ground, let him know (by your actions, and refusal to give in), that your not giving in, your not backing down. He will either live with your decision, or leave. If he leaves, he didn't want anything from you but sex in the first place. Remember, (this coming from a guy), a man, when he is "in heat" will tell a woman anything to get her into bed.
Bottom line: STAND YOUR GROUND!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005): I think its up to you to decide whether or not he loves you
or if he just wants to have sex with you. Once you decide that everything eles will become more clearly to you and it
will be easy to make a choice. I personally think he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
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A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (1 October 2005):
This man oviously cares more about how he feels than how you do. You two made an agreement to wait until you were married before having sex. If he is going to break this agreement how well will he do on his marriage vows?
He probably doesn't call or acts different, never wanting to go out and threathening not to marry you, to try to make you cave in to his wishes.
I now it will hurt to break it off now with him, but it will hurt alot more a couple of years and a couple of kids later.
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